270 Chapters
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Medium 9781574412697


Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781523095056

7 When Worlds Collide

Ross, Howard J.; Tartaglione, JonRobert Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

People inside of belonging systems are very threatened by those who are not within that group. They are threatened by anyone who has found their citizenship in places they cannot control.


Let’s return for a moment to the opening scenario in Chapter 1. Joan, Barry, and Fatima each had their “home” community in which they felt very comfortable: Joan, among other political conservatives as well as her religious community, Barry among other folks who were either gay or felt completely comfortable with his sexual orientation, and Fatima, her religious community. Within each of those communities there is a certain sense of normative values and behavior, “rules” if you will, that all make sense, within the construct of that community. There is a sense of belonging. And yet, when the individuals from these different communities come together, something else happens. All of a sudden, their “otherness” seems to predominate. We live in a world of “us versus them.”

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Medium 9781605093482

Chapter Five An Acquired Taste: Mealtime

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

AFTER A LONG morning of working with the whales, Amy and her coworkers were listening to another of Clint Jordan’s pep talks. “We’re very careful about first impressions here,” he said. “We pay lots of attention to what we call core memory, meaning that we want the whales to have a positive experience from the get-go, particularly when we’re starting out to train a new behavior. And that goes for you folks as well. We want you to associate only good feelings with working here.

“When people start new jobs, they’re usually asked to observe, but here we’re kind of crazy about the matter of observation. As in all scientific inquiry, careful observation is one of the ingredients of success in working with killer whales—or any animal. Watching and mentally recording what you see is a skill that will place you ahead of those who rely merely on hearsay or traditional thinking or who carelessly work from assumptions. Your biggest task in getting to know these animals will be to earn their trust. Painstaking observation will give you an edge with them, because they’ll sense right away how responsive you are to their ways, their habits, and the differences in their preferences.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 16: Brandon—Cerebral Palsy

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Sixteen

Brandon—Cerebral Palsy

One day while I sat in the reception room to get a respite from the

Texas heat in the arena, the front door opened. A beautiful lady with dark curls and a ready smile entered, pushing a wheelchair in which sat a frail teenager with his arms around a little boy perched in his lap.

Instructor Tracy Winkley1 came in from her office, greeted them and introduced herself.

“I’m Melissa Turner,” the lady replied. “This is my son Brandon

Barnette and his little brother, Nathan.”

“Hi guys,” Tracy said as Nathan slid to the floor and joined his mother on the couch. “Do you think you’d like to ride a horse, Brandon?”

“Umm, yes,” Brandon said tentatively, his eyes wide as he glanced around at his mother and brother.

“How old are you?” Tracy asked.


“My, you’re a tall fellow for your age,” she said, kneeling in front of his chair. “Can you stand on your own?”

Brandon shook his head.

“Not without a lot of help,” Turner said.

“Okay, Brandon, let’s check you over so we can see which one of our horses will suit you best,” Tracy said. She gently tugged one leg to straighten it. “Tell me when you feel this.” She repeated the process with his other leg.

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Medium 9781576750919

How People Smart Are You?

Silberman, Mel Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Intelligence tests yield an intelligence quotient or IQ. You may have some idea of your IQ, but do you know your people smart quotient or PQ?

We have devised a rating scale called the PeopleSmart Scale to give you an estimate of your PQ. Just like an IQ scale, it is designed so that the average score is 100. Because it is a rating scale, however, your answers will be subjective. Therefore, the more honest you are when you rate yourself, the more accurate your PQ score will be. Also, your standard of comparison may be different from other readers; use people you know as your benchmark. Finally, you might find it difficult to make an overall judgment of yourself at all times and with all people. For example, your PQ at work may be higher than your PQ at home. As you take the test, consider choosing one or two of the following as your frame of reference:

Chapter 3: Table 1

You would then ask yourself how effective you are in your relationships with whomever you choose. Better yet, invite some of these people to give you their views about your PeopleSmart skills. You can ask them to rate you on the PeopleSmart Scale. Or you can ask them to look over the content of each skill and discuss how they perceive your interpersonal effectiveness in each area. Whatever approach you use, you will find that focusing on a particular relationship is the best way to take stock of your PeopleSmart skills. And now, for the rating scale!13

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Medium 9781574412444

1. Summer Vacations

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF



Summer Vacations

MARK AND I VACILLATED OVER WHETHER we could afford to spend two long semesters in Rochester. Summer school seemed feasible. Either way, we’d need more money in the bank. I applied to the state arts agency and a nonprofit arts advocacy group. I made some calls and waited to see where my job hunt would take me.

Juggling a baby and a busy preschooler wasn’t as taxing as

I feared. Michael was a curious baby. He didn’t cry the way

Sam did as an infant. He slept easily, and for long stretches at a time. With his hearty appetite, he grew fast. He nursed on both sides, making breastfeeding easy and comfortable. Such a thing to find comfort in, I thought.

Michael took his morning nap while Sam was in school. I relished the few quiet hours to myself. I cleaned the house and finished some long-neglected sewing and gardening projects.

Our backyard almost looked good enough to be featured in a gardening magazine, which encouraged us to spend even more time outside with the boys.

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Medium 9781605093482

The Science behind the Whale Done Approach

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

This book brings to the parenting of children many behavioral principles and techniques that have succeeded spectacularly in training killer whales and other marine mammals, making it possible to work with these animals cooperatively. In fact, these principles and techniques have been so successful—even with the most feared predator in the ocean, the killer whale—that they have changed the entire field of marine mammal training. And they are now expanding to the training of many other animal groups, from other wild animals to domestic pets.

What has made these principles and techniques extraordinarily successful is that they are based on leading behavioral science research and universal discoveries about changing behavior. This research initially focused on changing human behavior—both child behavior and adult behavior—and it is very consistent with the knowledge about human behavior that Ken Blanchard draws on in his many books. For a good introduction to this behavioral science research, see Alan E. Kazdin, Behavior Modification in Applied Settings, sixth edition (Wadsworth, 2001).

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Medium 9781574412444

2. Potty Training

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

Potty Training

I liked Ken and Jennifer, co-workers at my new job at the California Confederation of the Arts. They were good-hearted people, dedicated to the group’s mission of promoting the arts.

Both Ken, my boss, and Susan, the executive director, prided themselves on their family-friendly office policies. They encouraged Mark to bring Michael to the office to nurse during my first few weeks on the job. My body needed to adjust to routine feedings, instead of breastfeeding on demand. Within a month,

Michael and I lined up with morning, noon and evenings feedings and Mark didn’t have to bring him anymore. Instead, I bicycled home at noon to share lunch with Mark and Sam, and nurse Michael.

Before moving to Texas, the Confederation’s outgoing office manager, Blair, trained me to do her job. Blair motored around the office in her wheelchair. I wondered if Ken built the ramp from the parking lot to the back door for her, since the front door emptied onto the sidewalk on P Street, near the capitol. Blair told me how, as a teenager, she was paralyzed from the waist down after an illness. She still had enough feeling in her legs that she had hope she could walk again. If she lived with her family, she would have more support to build her strength. Later, Jennifer told me that she doubted Blair’s ambition. Jennifer thought the push to walk again was coming from Blair’s family. I listened to Jennifer’s doubts and began to wonder, if it takes all the energy you have to walk and you have none left for your other daily tasks, then what have you accomplished?

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Medium 9781574412970

Secret 3: Turn Scared into Sacred

Kalena Cook and Margaret Christensen, M.D. University of North Texas Press PDF


Turn Scared into Sacred

One of the most daunting hurdles facing women before birth is fear.

Especially for the first time, some expectant mothers may burden themselves with concerns that may never happen. Sometimes negative feelings from a previous labor linger.Whereas animals rely on instinct or whether they can see, smell or hear danger, women tend to worry needlessly.

Negative thoughts can grow into a dragon with several heads—anxiety, panic, and dread.

But hope exists. By looking at the ways you get scared, you can learn how to turn that energy into the sacred. Turn Scared into Sacred is the third natural birth secret: taking your darkest fears and facing them with faith in your own way. Frances Moore Lappe, co-author of You Have the

Power: Choosing Courage in a Culture of Fear, says fear is an energy— an energy you can use to your advantage. Instead of freezing up, you can move through the stages of birth naturally by designing your “shield of courage” ahead of time.

According to a study1 of fears among 329 pregnant women attending childbirth classes, their foremost fears include:

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Medium 9781605093482


Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 4: Instructors and Therapists

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Four

Instructors and Therapists—

The people who make it work

Imagine how scary it might be for a young rider, way up there on that huge horse, higher off the ground than he’s ever sat before, feeling motion he has never known before. Then think how the parents feel.

It must be traumatic for them to see their precious young guy or gal, of whom they are so protective, helped onto this great animal and led away, perhaps out of their sight.

From what I have observed, these riders are in the best of care.

I have personally worked with more than a dozen instructors or therapists and they are without a doubt the most capable, caring, giving, dedicated group of people I’ve ever known.

Watching instructors from various NARHA centers readying their charges to compete at Special Olympics one day, these words came to mind—they are a breed apart. While so many of us are busy “going for the gold” for ourselves, these people are helping others “go for it.” They are very protective of their riders, who respond to them with obvious affection. They may not get rich in this field. Their reward is the satisfaction of watching a child take a step, or speak for the first time; an adult walk without crutches; a grateful parent telling of new things a rider is accomplishing at home; the delight on a competitor’s face.

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Medium 9781523097821

1 Bud

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

It was a brilliant summer morning shortly before nine, and I was hurrying to the most important meeting of my new job at Zagrum Company. As I walked across the tree-lined grounds, I recalled the day two months earlier when I had first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters to interview for a senior management position. I had been watching the company for more than a decade from my perch at one of its competitors and had tired of finishing second. After eight interviews and three weeks spent doubting myself and waiting for news, I was hired to lead one of Zagrum’s product lines.

Now, four weeks later, I was about to be introduced to a senior management ritual peculiar to Zagrum: a daylong one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Bud was the right-hand man to Zagrum’s president, Kate Stenarude. And due to a shift within the executive team, he was about to become my new boss.

I had tried to find out what this meeting was all about, but my colleagues’ explanations confused me. They mentioned a discovery that solves “people problems”; how no one really focuses on results; and that something about the “Bud Meeting,” as it was called, and strategies that evidently follow from it, are key to Zagrum’s incredible success. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was eager to meet, and impress, my new boss.

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Medium 9781574412697

Sit, Quiet Hands, Look at Me

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Sit, Quiet Hands,

Look at Me

July 1993. I pulled into the parking lot of Walnut Hill Elementary

School, the Total Communication Unit where five-year-elevenmonth-old Ben was housed. His new teacher, Ms. Seevers, had called me. She was waiting for me in the office. I was not looking forward to meeting her.

“Come with me,” said Ms. Seevers. “I want you to see something.”

What trail of destruction had Ben left behind him now? As we walked to the portable building, the cellblock, I apologized for

Ben’s behavior. “He’s off his medication. It’s making him worse.

We’ve tried everything to control him.”

Ms. Seevers swung open the door and there was Ben, standing on the seat of his little desk chair, waving a drumstick, and screeching like a power saw.

“Sit, ” the teacher commanded. Ben sat down. She took the drumstick away from him and gave him a piece of goldfish cracker. He waved his hands in front of his face and hummed like a band saw.

“Quiet hands,” she said. He rested his hands in his lap and stopped humming. “Look at me,” said Ms. Seevers. To my astonishment, he did

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Medium 9781574413335


Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

Make a Mind-Body-Spirit

Despite Physical Challenges,
Obstetrician Chose a Birth Center

Melissa Crochet, M.D.’s Story

At ten weeks into my second pregnancy,my ovary twisted on itself. I knew something was wrong. I writhed in pain. At first I thought it was appendicitis. It became a nightmare because we had our toddler, Ethan, with us and we needed my husband’s mom to help care for him immediately. So my husband, Jay, called her from the Ob/Gyn’s office who was going to perform my surgery. Jay’s mom was teaching and she had to leave her class immediately. She needs directions when driving in Dallas and Jay stood in the doctor’s office looking out from the third floor window directing her on his cell phone turn-by-turn to the building.

With clenched teeth, I said,“Just get her heeere ....”Finally she arrived.

We all went down to the parking lot. The nurse carried our stuff and I walked bent over in pain. It would ease off and then yaaaaa. I got in the car and just wished we would go. Jay stopped and turned. His mom wanted directions on how to get from there to our house. I heard him say, “Well, you need to take...well, no...don’t go that way. It would be quicker this way.” I was in the back seat. I just took my hand, beat on the glass almost breaking it, and yelled at the top of my lungs,“GET IN THE CAR!” I was in so much pain. It was horrible. I couldn’t tolerate the scene: just have her follow us to the hospital first and then give her directions to our house.

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Medium 9781574412697

Expect a Miracle

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Expect a Miracle

In April of 1995, as Easter approached, I revived my diary. Many of my recollections from this period are based on diary entries.

April 2, 1995. Seven-year-old Ben in tow, I went to a Holy Week healing service with the Reverend Shelley Hamilton, a minister at my church. “Agnes Sanford says, ‘Expect a miracle,’” I reminded her.

“Where is the miracle?”

“The miracle must happen in you,” said Shelley, “and in Ben, and in everyone in your family.” She prayed for me, “God, we challenge you. How long will this man have to stand here at this altar in pain?”

With Easter Sunday just days ahead, I struggled with my faith and with my role in Ben’s recovery. Mom argued that Ben needed to be placed in an institution. “You’ve worked with Ben for a year now,” Mom said, “poured everything you had to give into him.

When others stumbled and fell, you kept going.” I agreed with most of her points: that Ben had not recovered; that he needed a consistent environment; that I could not meet all his needs by myself. Sue couldn’t do it either.

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