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Medium 9781576757642

What I believe at this time

Margaret J. Wheatley Berrett-Koehler Publishers PDF

what I believe at this time

I’ve found that I can only change how I act if I stay aware of my beliefs and assumptions. Thoughts always reveal themselves in behavior.

As humans, we often contradict ourselves—we say one thing and do another. We state who we are, but then act contrary to that. We say we’re open-minded, but then judge someone for their appearance.

We say we’re a team, but then gossip about a colleague. If we want to change our behavior, we need to notice our actions, and see if we can uncover the belief that led to that response. What caused me to behave that way and not some other way?

Over the years, I’ve noticed that many of us harbor negative beliefs about each other. Or we believe that there’s nothing we can do to make a difference. Or that things are so crazy that we have to look out only for ourselves. With these beliefs, we cannot turn to one another.

We won’t engage together for the work that needs to be done.

I’ve been trying to stay aware of my own beliefs for many years. I’m describing some of them here for a few reasons. First, I want to be held accountable for these. I want my beliefs to be visible in my actions. Second, in stating them, you can learn a bit more about me.

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Medium 9781855758186

THE ACKNOWLEDGING DIALOGUE WITH CHILDREN

Susanne Soborg Christensen Karnac Books ePub

THE ACKNOWLEDGING DIALOGUE WITH CHILDREN

Developing acknowledging intimacy with our children can be a special challenge because we parents need to be both loving and nurturing, while also taking responsibility for making decisions, choices, and instructing our children at times when they need guidance.

Our job is to point our children in the right direction – even if they might occasionally experience us as unloving. As parents, one hopes we have an overview and the ability to assess the consequences of the choices our children want to make. Yet again, we must say no to eating sweets after they have brushed their teeth, insist on giving them warm clothes when it is cold, and say no to going out for the second night in a row when the homework is piling up.

Perhaps you find it easier to be an attentive parent rather than the parent who has to take responsibility for guiding your child. If this is how you feel, it could be difficult for you to tell your child in no uncertain terms that presently it is bedtime, and that there will be no more evenings out this weekend. You may hope that your child will recognize the importance of such rules. When this does not happen, you probably get annoyed, and might begin to scold and feel like giving up.

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Medium 9781576757642

3. What do I believe about others?

Margaret J. Wheatley Berrett-Koehler Publishers PDF

What do I believe about others?

We have a great need to rely on the fact of human goodness. Human goodness seems like an outrageous “fact.” In these dark times we are confronted daily with mounting evidence of the great harm we so easily do to one another. We are numbed by frequent genocide, ethnic hatred, and acts of violence committed daily in the world. In selfprotective groups, we terrorize each other with our hatred. Of the two hundred and forty plus nations in the world, nearly one-fourth of them are at war.

In our daily life, we encounter people who are angry, deceitful, intent only on satisfying their own needs. There is so much anger, distrust, greed, and pettiness that we are losing our capacity to work well together. Many of us are more withdrawn and distrustful than ever.

Yet this incessant display of the worst in us makes it essential that we rely on human goodness. Without that belief in each other, there really is no hope.

There is nothing equal to human creativity, human caring, human will.

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Medium 9781574413335

SECRET 12: PREPARE FOR BABY’S ARRIVAL BEYOND THE NAME AND NURSERY

Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

SECRET 12:
Prepare for Baby’s Arrival
Beyond the Name and Nursery

Breastfeeding

Breastmilk is alive and life-giving like a white
blood transfusion to your baby.

The best time to begin breastfeeding is right after birth while your newborn is alert. Help your baby latch on properly by getting the whole areola (brown circle with the nipple) in your baby’s mouth. The suction action of your baby helps to contract your uterus (along with external massage below your belly button) which is important to reduce bleeding. Colostrum, the clear fluid before your milk comes in, is the perfect food for a newborn.

Your milk comes in within a few days. The more often you feed, the less discomfort you’ll have from engorgement,and the more milk you provide your baby. Engorgement, a normal fullness or swelling of the breasts, occurs when you first begin producing milk. Breastfeeding as often as possible relieves the pressure. Ice packs also offer relief. Don’t give formula supplements or water to your baby for the first three to four weeks.

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Medium 9781626564312

PART III From War to Peace

The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Lou barely slept that night. He tossed and turned as the mistakes of the last thirty years or so played themselves over and over in his mind. Cory was an object to him, he couldn’t deny it. His heart stirred in anger merely at the thought of Cory’s name. But there was a new feeling this night—a desire to be rid of the ache he felt regarding Cory rather than a desire to be rid of Cory himself. He was wanting his son back. Or perhaps more accurately, he was beginning to feel the desire to be Cory’s father again.

Speaking of ache, the pain he felt for banishing Kate was now acute. As he replayed what he had regarded as the mutinous meeting in the boardroom, he heard his words and witnessed his scowl afresh. He had been a child! He couldn’t afford to lose Kate, but his pride had driven him over a cliff and blinded him to a truth he suspected was obvious to everyone else—that Kate, not Lou, was the prime mover behind Zagrum Company’s success. How could I have been so blind! What am I going to do? How can I rescue the company?

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Medium 9781576750919

Becoming People Smart

Mel Silberman Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

While some kinds of abilities remain stable or even decline as you age, your ability to be people smart can grow continuously. That’s the good news. The bad news is, it won’t be easy. We adults are often not open to change. If you don’t believe this, try this simple experiment:

Fold your arms without thinking. Now, fold them the opposite way so that you switch which arm is on top. Feel awkward? You bet. Well, stay that way for a minute. Now, cross your legs without thinking about it. Yep, the upper part of your body is still uncomfortable but your lower part is nice and comfortable. Now cross your legs the opposite way. Your whole body is now out of your comfort zone. Now go back to the way you normally fold your arms and cross your legs. Feel better? That’s the real you. It’s comfortable to do things in familiar ways.

For better or worse, we have gotten used not only to folding our arms and crossing our legs in certain ways, but to relating to other people in certain ways. And it will be uncomfortable to change.

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Medium 9780870818462

1. HOWDY

Kevin Holdsworth University Press of Colorado ePub

The first movie western, The Great Train Robbery, was filmed in New Jersey, or upstate New York, depending on whom you believe. The Homer of western writers, Owen Wister, was a Philadelphia lawyer. Zane Grey, the king of the formula western, was a dentist from Ohio. Louis L’Amour, inheritor of the Grey legacy, wrote about the wild wild west from the City of Angels and had such powerful concentration that he boasted he could compose on a median in the middle of the Santa Monica Freeway. Mary Austin, who wrote so beguilingly of the great dry lands experience, spent much of her creative life in New York City, as did other “western” writers, Willa Cather and May Swenson. Jackson Pollock, the celebrated urbanite drip, fling, splash, and swirl painter, was born in Cody, Wyoming.

These facts might seem discordant if not downright contradictory. They may be, but the ability to keep two opposites in mind helps us to negotiate this arid vale of tears. It’s not enough to circle it as yin and yang or simply pin it on a star sign. It is instead what keeps us wrangling—to acknowledge both sides of Prudence. It may also have something to do with the way past and present coexist in our minds. It may be the way sound shifts in passing. Where we are is also where we have been. We have to escape in order to return.

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Medium 9781576751794

CHAPTER 38: THE BENEFITS OF A CULTURE OF AGREEMENT

Stewart Levine Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Whatever failures I have known, whatever errors I have committed,
whatever follies I have witnessed in private and public life,
have been the consequences of action without thought.

—Bernard Baruch

Putting agreements in place in all your endeavors is the antithesis of “action without thought.” Having agreements is a response, rather than a reaction, to a situation. Having agreements, and honoring their terms, is a way to avoid the consequences of reactive behavior that has no context. The benefit of a Culture of Agreement is dual: one is the incremental value of desired results, the other is avoidance of the negative costs of conflict. Let’s look at the negative side first.

We need to look at the unseen, unarticulated, and significant costs of conflict. When relationships are not consciously created, and conflict is not prevented with agreements for results, the potential for litigation greatly increases. Last year more than 22 million cases were filed in U.S. courts, at a cost of almost $400 billion.12 214

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Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER FIVE. The non-maternal psychic space

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Alcira Mariam Alizade

Introduction

Psychoanalytic theories about mental development in women are closely linked to motherhood. A woman’s maternal function is of some considerable importance on the psychoanalytic scene.

The ideas I would like to present here are geared towards thinking about and constructing a theory relating to the mental space in women that is independent from the psychic function or position of a mother. To this end, I shall explore the concept of a non-maternal psychic space and the processes that do not revolve around the equations and events directly related to motherhood.

This chapter is therefore an invitation to reconsider the subjectivity of women, their conscious and unconscious fantasies, and the psychodynamics of the relationship issues that involve these. To this end, it would be helpful to suspend preconceived ideas and generalities that can only introduce bias in the field of desire and human peculiarities.

Now that gestation may be controlled either to avoid pregnancy (contraception) or to achieve pregnancy by means of new reproductive techniques, in the following pages I endeavour to consider these issues impartially and without any a priori theoretical restrictions.

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Medium 9781576752456

CHAPTER 20: Jobs to Share

John de Graaf Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

This chapter is the first of several about changes in the workplace that could lead to shorter working hours and more time for American workers. If you’ve tried some of the ideas put forth by Vicki Robin and Cecile Andrews and actually find you could live with less money, some of these suggestions may also be for you, and you may be able to make them work for you through patient and intelligent conversation with your employer. As the next two chapters make clear, you’ll need to convince that employer that the change you propose will benefit the company, as well. And it probably won’t be easy, though when I read the engaging writing of a skilled reporter like Carol Ostrom, I can’t imagine why her employer wouldn’t agree to almost anything just to keep her words coming. —JdG

The first time we made a pitch for a job share—three of us would-be sharers perched nervously in the city editor’s little office at the edge of the newsroom— it didn’t go well.

What I remember most now, more than a decade later, was one of my colleagues kicking me under the table, hard. I was in the midst of an impassioned speech to the editor about why I needed to share my job.

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Medium 9781771870788

WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?

Forrie, Allan Thistledown Press ePub
Creativity in the kitchen and bedroom take centre stage during a conjugal visit in Susan Musgrave’s “What Would Buddha Do?”



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Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER ONE. Motherhood is unending

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Ruth F. Lax

All societies have created and evolvingly continue to create stereotypic arch-types of The Mother and Motherhood. These became the ideals of a given society whose form and content depend on the ethos of the era, and on the vicissitudes of the individual. In each generation the prevailing idealized stereotypes become incorporated and influence both the female and the male psyche. The girl child, however, becomes primed for motherhood almost from birth.

In most societies, Feminine and Mother are combined to form a single representation of WOMAN—and for most women in the world this still is their only self-representation. Motherhood is a state of being. Although the specifics are expressed idiosyncratically, primary preoccupation with the child, availability to the child, self-sacrifice for the child, are values upheld as inherent in good motherhood. Transmitted from generation to generation, this stereotype expresses unconscious childhood wishes, expectancies, and hopes of what a mother should be like, and how she should behave towards her child.

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Medium 9781605093482

Chapter One An Exciting New Job and Challenges at Home

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

TAKING A BREAK at SeaWorld, Amy Sheldrake sat deep in thought by a large pool, watching several of her favorite killer whales. How can it be possible that a whole year has passed since I came to work here? she thought.

“You all are some of my closest friends,” Amy said aloud. As the great gleaming black-and-white forms moved by, their eyes lifting and their great heads nodding at her, she imagined they understood every word she spoke.

“Not only that, you’re the best teachers I’ve ever had. I can’t tell you what it means to me that you’ve given me such a great start as a mom. You’ve helped me lay the foundation for all the years ahead that I’ll be spending with my son. What a difference it’s made, to be here and watch how you’ve responded to your trainers’ kindness and consistency. Every time you perform your incredible aerial maneuvers in the show, or ride us on your backs, or lift us high out of the water in one of your super leaps, the fans in the stands applaud in amazement. To them, it’s a mystery how we trainers get you to do those things. But we know, don’t we, my friends?”

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Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER TWO. The twenty-first century: what changes?

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Giovanna Ambrosio

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”

Jewish proverb

Parthogenetic mothers: narcissism and omnipotence

For the purpose of suggesting and, above all, sharing some thoughts and queries about the prospects of maternity in the twenty-first century, I should like to consider the matter from the viewpoint of historic and social change, paying particular attention to the psychic aspects.

First, I should like to say that my position on problems related to one’s own body is that of respect for the principle of self-determination on the part of the subject, even more so since I live in a country where there is a troublesome tendency to legislate on many aspects of what is “private” and, even worse, in increasingly restrictive terms.

More specifically, I propose a brief reflection on the theme of maternity with reference to those particular clinical psycho-pathological situations of pathologies of the self and of narcissistic personality disorders. In fact, sometimes in these cases the fantasy of becoming a mother “at all costs” would seem to be mainly nourished by a system of needs belonging to the primary narcissism register and are completely remote from the possibility of acceding to recognition of the other and to the oedipal drive register.

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Medium 9781576751794

CHAPTER 14: JOINT VENTURE AGREEMENTS

Stewart Levine Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Pioneers are motivated by drive to achievement and by irrational optimism
rather than by reasonable calculation. If those who start a business rely on
nothing but mathematical expectation enterprise will fade and die.

—John Maynard Keynes

A joint venture is an agreement between two or more organizations who undertake a project together. As the world becomes more virtual, the need for what “strategic partners” can bring to joint ventures will become more pervasive. The good news lies in the possibility of achieving the best of all worlds by being able to put great teams together for specific projects without taking on additional staff. The challenges lie in quick integration, coordination, and control. People starting a joint venture often posture for protection. Unfortunately, as you are aware by now, posturing takes the focus off the vision of results that generated the initial excitement and optimism about the project.

I recently was part of a team organizing a joint venture between the Law Practice Management Section of the American Bar Association (LPM) and a private conference promoter, Legal Management (LM), to sponsor a law-firm management educational conference. Here’s the joint venture agreement I crafted.104

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