289 Chapters
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Medium 9781574413335


Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

Get Informed and Shop Around

In a perfect world, you could trust that all things are safe for you. In reality, we have been blessed with a curious and discerning brain and a woman’s remarkable intuition to help us make safe decisions for ourselves. You have a choice in pregnancy and birth: either get informed and make decisions or remain naive.

If you favor natural birth, do you want an experienced caregiver, personal service or straight-forward care? In selecting the right physician or midwife at the right hospital, birth center, or a home birth, consider the following questions.

Having a Baby? 10 Questions to Ask

Have you decided how to have your baby? The choice is yours.

First, learn as much as you can about all your choices. There are many different ways of caring for you and your baby during labor and birth.

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Medium 9781576750919

PeopleSmart Skill 8

Silberman, Mel Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

If you never budge, don’t expect a push.


It’s often good advice to be yourself. If you are in your fifties, you would not pass as a cool teenager in the company of adolescents. If you are a formal person, you would probably look and feel ridiculous being flamboyant. It’s hard to pretend to be the kind of person you aren’t, and it’s often counterproductive. You lose your genuineness and dampen the many strengths you’ve taken a lifetime to develop. You also confuse other people who know you for who you are and are disconcerted when you behave differently.202

Nevertheless, high PQ people know that there are times when it’s necessary to shift gears. They don’t change with the winds like most politicians but they appreciate that when things are stuck, behaving in new ways can get things moving again. The Bible provides interesting cases in point:

The Biblical Jacob represents an intriguing example of someone with many personal strengths who had difficulty shifting gears. The younger twin brother of Esau, Jacob pretended, at his mother’s urging, to be Esau so that his nearly blind father, Isaac, would bestow upon him the blessing of inheritance. If he had not done so, Esau, the firstborn but of questionable character, would have succeeded Isaac. At the same time, Jacob’s deceit created a nearly fatal estrangement from his brother Esau. To his credit, Jacob did well with his responsibility. He spiritually wrestled with the angel of God and survived. He became a vital link in the transmission of the Biblical covenant between God and the Israelites. Through his two wives, Leah and Rachel, and his concubines, he had twelve sons who became the heads of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. However, his own life was marked by anguish and pain, especially over the apparent death of his favorite son, Joseph, who, in fact, was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. The tragedy occurred because Jacob did not learn from his own childhood experience of sibling rivalry and gave his favorite son a “coat of many colors” and a special place in his heart.203

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Medium 9781574411904


Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY ing the people, animals, nature, and situations therein, emphasizing emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Frog (horse anatomy): Wedge-shaped substance in the sole of the hoof which acts as a cushion.

Gerontology: The scientific study of the process and problems of aging.

Hackamore: Circular device fitting around a horse’s muzzle, an alternative to a metal bit in his mouth, by which the rider communicates signals.

Half-halt: With a rider mounted, the horse is slowed almost to a stop, and then abruptly urged back to normal speed.

Harrington Rod Insertion: A procedure to stabilize the spine by fusing together two or more vertebrae, using either metal (Harrington) rods or bone grafts.

Hemispherectomy: Excision of one cerebral hemisphere, undertaken due to intractable (not adequately controlled by medication) epilepsy, and other cerebral conditions.

Hippotherapy: From the Greek word for horse, hippos, literally meaning therapy with the aid of a horse.

Infantile Spasms: Brief (typically one to five seconds) seizures occurring in clusters of two to one hundred at a time, with possibly dozens of episodes per day.

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Medium 9781574412697

Over the Rainbow

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Over the Rainbow

In August of 2001, the summer that Ben turned fourteen, I bought

a condominium in Oak Lawn, a leafy, gentrified Dallas enclave near the city center. Sue would pick Ben up from school, feed him her home-cooked gluten-free dinners, and bring him to me for the night. We alternated weekends for a while, but Ben slept better at my place. He stayed. Ben and I became a family unit. Letters arrived in my mailbox addressed to “Dan and Ben.”

I poured myself into my work and taught an overload: as many as seventeen sections of communications courses, mostly online. In the evenings, Ben watched TV or read Dr. Seuss books while I e-mailed my students and graded papers, listening to WRR, the Dallas classical station. Tchaikovsky piano concertos, Mozart, or Bach played in the background. About nine thirty, I’d wind up the evening.

“Ben, do you want to go to Lucky’s?”

He’d nod yes, and we were off for bedtime snacks, steamed broccoli, or red beans and rice, at the corner café, floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over pedestrian traffic and the upscale urban landscape.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 18: Larry—Parkinson’s Disease

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Eighteen

Larry—Parkinson’s Disease

“I’m sleeping six and a half to seven hours straight now. Before I started riding, many nights I didn’t sleep more than two or three, because of back pain.” Larry Walls said this less than two months after he began hippotherapy.

Dr. Ronald Faries, D.C., remarked on Larry’s progress at this stage in the riding program: “His balance, strength, and stamina have increased tremendously. Many times he comes into the clinic without his walker.

Before he started riding, he didn’t have the ability to maintain upright posture.”1

Eight years earlier Larry was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. I had heard about his remarkable results, and asked to include his story in the book.

“Sure,” he said, slowly climbing the ramp to the mounting platform.

Two of Larry’s friends had told him about therapeutic riding and urged him to try it. One was volunteer Cecil Hill.

“Cecil kept talking about it, explaining some of the benefits people had experienced, and the procedure. But I was skeptical,” Larry said.

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Medium 9781574412444

5. Baby's Outings

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

I stacked the fresh linens back in the closet and returned

Sam’s pajamas to his dresser drawer, blinking back tears.

Baby’s Outings

By the time autumn had kissed the tops of the sugar maples and the red oak trees, we felt at home in upstate New York.

“Any afternoon without rain and above fifty-five degrees is fair bike-riding weather, as far as I’m concerned,” Mark said, conceding that our biking days in balmy California had become a distant memory. No matter how many hours of study I had ahead of me, I knew I’d think better after a bike ride. Some days in graduate school, I felt like I imagined Sam must feel every day in preschool—markedly ahead of fellow students in some things, unbearably behind in others.

I often dashed home after my classes for an hour-long ride in the late afternoon with Mark and the boys. We bundled them up with hats, helmets, coats, and mittens. We covered them with flannel blankets in the yellow and red trailer hooked up to the back of our tandem bicycle. Most people seemed to enjoy the strange sight of our motley bicycle crew. They’d wave and we’d wave back. As our captain, though, Mark had to keep his focus on the trail. As stoker, it was my job to balance the bike and pedal hard, especially when the hills got high.

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Medium 9781523097821

8 Doubt

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

The August sun was blazing overhead as I made my way back to the path that paralleled Kate’s Creek. Although I had grown up in St. Louis and had lived for years on the East Coast, I had spent enough time in milder climates to become permanently uncomfortable with the humidity that accompanied Connecticut’s summer heat. I was grateful to slip beneath the trees as I turned in the direction of Building 8.

For the exposure I was feeling on the inside, however, there was no cover. I was on completely unfamiliar ground. Nothing I had experienced in my career had prepared me for my meeting with Bud. But although I was feeling quite unsure of myself and was far less convinced that I was on the top of the Zagrum advancement heap than I had been just a few hours before, I also had never felt better about what I was doing. I knew there was something I had to do during this break—I just hoped that Joyce Mulman was around to allow me to do it.

“Sheryl, could you tell me where Joyce Mulman’s desk is?” I asked my secretary as I walked past her and into my office. As I turned from putting my notebook on the table, I noticed that Sheryl was standing at my door, a worried look on her face.

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Medium 9781523097821

14 Collusion

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“So far,” Bud said, “we’ve been examining the internal experience of someone who’s in the box. But as you can imagine, my box can have quite an impact on others.

“Think about it,” he said, walking to the board. “Suppose this is me—in my box,” he said, drawing a box with a stick figure in it.

“If I am here in my box, what am I communicating to others?”

“What are you communicating?”


“Well … you’re blaming them, I guess.”

“Exactly. And do you suppose other people are generally walking around saying to themselves, ‘Gee, I really feel blameworthy today; I need someone to blame me’?”

I laughed. “Yeah, right.”

“I don’t think so, either,” Bud said. “Most people are generally walking around thinking something like, ‘Look, I’m not perfect, but doggone it, I’m doing just about as well as you could expect under the circumstances.’ And since most of us have self-justifying images we’re carrying around with us, most people are already in a defensive posture, always ready to defend their self-justifying images against attack. So if I’m in the box, blaming others, my blame invites them to do—what?

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Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

My earnest involvement in family activism, even though I didn’t identify it as such, began when I was twenty-six years old. That is when I decided to consciously apply my knowledge about communication and organizing to make my family more united, nurturing, and mutually supportive, including my networks of friends and colleagues whom I also considered as family. My thought was to strengthen my immediate community so we could be more available to create positive change in our society. During these years, there was no articulated idea of family activism, just a handful of friends believing that a better world somehow begins with healthier families, so we just learned from our doing. Now, as I reflect on my activism thirty years later, I recognize that I was largely guided by five key foundational principles.

These five principles represent my basic philosophy about how to advance a world that works for all, beginning with co-powering family and friends to become part of the force of love and transformation. By no means are these principles fully inclusive of all ideas required for change and transformation, yet they provide an important beginning for those who seek to make our families, communities, and societies better for everyone. They provide an understanding of the “know why” that underlies the methods and tools imparted in this book.

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Medium 9780870818462


Kevin Holdsworth University Press of Colorado ePub

In the river just below

two ghost cabins near Fontenelle,

whose roofs now open to the sky,

we cast cold-handed for the native trout

that rise in corrugated water,

running aqua and violet

in the raw and ruddy afternoon.

We swat at ever-hope of anglers:

for quarry big enough and hard to catch,

but in sharp wind we hear fish snickering

at our folly, for surely they have seen

such exceedingly false lures

and fatuous flies before.

To hear more inviting voices on the breeze,

we scabbard graphite foils

and revive the homestead hopes

that must have built this long-shot place:

these hovels, coops, sheds, corrals—

a jetty against the greater stream.

Let us pray

that the cordwood stacked

will be enough

and more will grow,

that the kids don’t drown,

cattle won’t wander,

the river don’t flood,

horses won’t founder, and

we can still stand

each other come spring.

In sheltered bottom these barren branches

could form a fretwork, trunks make columns

to edifice at arms’ length

a carp-white sheening sky.

And if the soil is poor,

and clay, there’s plenty of it.

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Medium 9781574412697


Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF


saving ben: a father's story of autism

“We tried that but he cried.”

And he kept the other kids awake, I thought.

Sue was having no more of this discussion. She hurried us toward the door.

“I’ll bring some Gas-X tomorrow. Dan, let’s go.”

The next day, Ben was in a corner by himself, rocking in his rowboat, staring in the mirror.

“He fusses when we try to make him sit with the other children,” the teacher said, glancing at Ben. “When he’s crabby like that he crawls to the corner and we just leave him alone.”

I didn’t blame her. Do Not Disturb a Quiet Baby.

“Did he take a nap?” I asked.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, Mr. Burns. No, he did not. Do you have a number where you or your wife can be reached during the day?”

On Friday, at naptime, the teacher phoned me. Ben was screeching like an ambulance siren and the other kids were going off like car alarms.

“He’s a lovely little boy,” the teacher said. “I’m afraid we can’t keep Ben.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised. I couldn’t keep him either.

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Medium 9781574412444

6. First Friends

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

First Friends

Sam slept until eight or nine in the morning, which gave me one or two precious hours to clean the house or get some arts council work done before caring for him consumed the rest of my day. I had to help him dress and make his breakfast. He could undress himself better than he could dress himself. He could feed himself, but he ignored his spoon and fork. Still, he ate a healthy breakfast—whole-grain pancakes or waffles, fresh berries, scrambled eggs, and smoothies.

For juice and smoothies, I bought a bottle-to-cup system I had seen in Japan. My mentor’s daughter, Akiko, was a toddler. I had enjoyed watching Akiko grow and change. Even though Akiko wasn’t quite two years old, Toru and Chieko had encouraged her to pick up grains of rice with chopsticks.

Akiko also liked to play with me. Occasionally, I understood her Japanese better than that of the adults, but she couldn’t pronounce my name. As I tried to learn Japanese myself, I figured out that my name didn’t fit in the natural building blocks of the Japanese alphabet. Akiko adapted by taking the sound of the first letter, P, and adding the honorary suffix, san, to be polite. My name was Pe-san when we played. Akiko’s favorite cup had been a short, sturdy one with white handles on both sides. Chieko showed me the different options for its top— with a quick twist, the cup changed from a bottle-style nipple to a sipper, to a straw, to a covered top with a small hole to slow down spills.

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Medium 9781626567276

Chapter Four: Check your privilege (and your ego)

Jana, Tiffany; Freeman, Matthew Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

There would be no bias if there were no differences. You can’t overcome bias if you can’t acknowledge that other people see the world differently than you do. And in order to do that, you must recognize that your perspective is not the only one, and that you are highly unlikely to be right all the time. That means checking your ego, and also acknowledging your privilege. Unchecked bias can look like privilege, so it’s important to take the time to differentiate the two.

It doesn’t matter who you are: if you are reading this book, you are privileged in some way. Privilege, in this context, simply means an advantage available to one group that isn’t available to everyone. You, for example, can read. According to UNESCO, that alone puts you ahead of 10 to 20 percent of people over age 15 worldwide. Why the 10 percent disparity? If you are a man, you are more likely to be literate.

Generally speaking, privilege blinds you to the challenges that others face. Suffering through a challenge helps you build empathy for others in a similar situation. So, for example, if you or a loved one has suffered through a chronic illness, you’re more likely to identify with the pain of another in a similar situation. The privilege of relative health doesn’t make you a bad person, but it makes it harder (but not impossible!) to understand the daily complexities and challenges of navigating life with a chronic condition. And so it is with identity-based privilege. If you’ve never feared being mistreated by the police because of the color of your skin, it can be challenging to fully understand the constant fear that haunts many people of color in their interactions with law enforcement. If we are to build authentic relationships across difference, we must do the hard work of recognizing our privilege so we can navigate the resulting blind spots more thoughtfully. The starting point is, once again, self-awareness.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 7: Procedures for Riding Sessions

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Seven

Procedures for Riding Sessions


The best approach to initiating a riding program is to contact NARHA to locate the nearest center. Call the center and have a preliminary discussion with an instructor or therapist about the candidate’s history.1

NARHA’s “Precautions & Contraindications” delineate physical conditions which could possibly lead to adverse effects from riding. Guidelines set down specific safeguards to be followed, or stipulate if the candidate should not ride.2

Upon determination that guidelines are met, the new client or family member is advised to request a doctor’s release to ride, and, if hippotherapy is indicated, a prescription for physical, occupational, or speech therapy.3 There is possible insurance coverage, for which the individual company should be queried. Various grants, government and private, are offered. Information about availability, and qualification requirements, can be obtained from the center or NARHA.

The next step is to visit the center. The instructor or therapist gathers information about the client’s capabilities and limitations, utilizing questions and an examination based on knowledge of human anatomy, and determines which match of horse and equipment will provide the most benefit.

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Medium 9781574412970

Secret 7: Find Out How Birth Centers Bridge the Choice

Kalena Cook and Margaret Christensen, M.D. University of North Texas Press PDF


Find Out How Birth Centers

Bridge the Choice

Free-standing birth centers offer a bridge between home and a hospital.You have the comforts of home—a bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, sitting area—to gather family and friends without tidying up. The environment feels more relaxing than a bustling hospital. But there’s oxygen, resuscitation equipment, and a baby warmer tucked discreetly inside an armoire.

In addition to being as safe as a hospital,1 the main advantage in using a birth center is the personalized, one-on-one care.Your midwife gets to know you—your concerns and preferences. Prenatal visits cover more indepth information than an obstetrician may have time for. Over a cup of tea, your midwife might review your nutrition regimen, or if you have other children with you, let them listen to their sibling’s heartbeat.All of which provides greater relaxation, so important in natural birth.

During your labor, the midwife stays with you to make sure you’re comfortable.Although epidurals aren’t an option, the low-tech approach of a birth center means lower risks for you and your baby. Birthing centers offer other soothing options to help you through contractions.They range from scented candles to freedom of movement, the ability to eat and drink to waterbirths in tubs, jacuzzis or other birthing pools. A midwife’s confidence along with her encouraging words, dissolves anxiety and empowers you.

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