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5. The Social History of the Moral Imagination

Robert L. Payton Indiana University Press ePub

We have noted how the practice of philanthropy is common to all of the great religions and civilizations of the world. But each culture develops a distinctive philanthropic tradition that reflects other aspects of that society and the unique ways in which the people exercise their culturally shaped moral imaginations.

As a relative newcomer, the United States has absorbed the teachings of philanthropic traditions that preceded ours, and it continues to absorb new elements as we practice, pass on, and reinvent the tradition in our increasingly pluralistic society. American philanthropy is a mosaic of cultural influences, emanating primarily from the ancient Middle East and from classical civilization, but also from Native American tribes and from the Far East. Basic teachings of the Buddha and Confucius blend here with the folk wisdom of slave culture. Different variations of the “Golden Rule,” and of the adage about teaching a poor person how to fish rather than simply giving them a fish, commingle in the American philanthropic tradition.1

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1. Favorite Toys

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

line of yellow beads up and down the thick, cherry-red wire mounted on a sturdy pine base. She sat next to him and began to narrate his play in the same quiet, deliberate way she had first talked with me on the phone. I had seen that kind of toy only a few times before. Even as an adult, I found moving the beads felt soothing and purposeful.

“Look, Sam, you’re making those yellow beads go up and down. You’re making them go up. Now you’re letting them fall down. That’s fun, Sam,” Nancy said.

She turned to me.

“Just describe what he’s doing. He’ll make the connections between the words you’re using and what they’re for. This toy is good for eye-hand coordination and visual tracking—the kind of motor skills he will need to learn to read.”

I began to wonder whether I was Sam’s problem. Of course,

Sam wasn’t talking because I wasn’t a chatty mother. My quiet love wasn’t enough. I should be walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store going on about red apples, and green peas, and orange oranges, I thought. That must be why he doesn’t know his colors. I didn’t coo. I didn’t baby talk. I didn’t refer to myself in the third person.

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Chapter Seven Not Just Yours: Teaching Your Child to Share

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“TODAY IS ABOUT teaching the whales to share,” Clint announced. He’d had the trainers move a pair of killer whales into one pool for practice. Addressing the three trainees, he said, “Whales are like kids, in a way. They have to learn to share their toys and food and other things.” Clint gestured toward the whales, which were busy playing with the toys the trainers had tossed to them. “Also like young children, their goals are to get attention and acquire resources. So we have to teach them to share.”

The “toys” were truly whale-size. One was a fifty-five-gallon barrel. Another was a six-foot-diameter plastic ball. “We can’t even lift that,” Clint said, “but the whales toss it around like it was nothing, even flipping it out of the water. Now, let’s see what Jody does to begin teaching Tutan to share with Taat.” Amy was taking notes as she watched the experienced trainer playing catch with Tutan. Jody would toss the toy—a thick tie-down rope—to Tutan, and the whale would swim it back to her, pushing it with its nose. “Bear in mind that what Jody is using is Tutan’s favorite toy,” Clint said. “The next stage is to get the whales to share with each other.”

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Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY ing the people, animals, nature, and situations therein, emphasizing emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Frog (horse anatomy): Wedge-shaped substance in the sole of the hoof which acts as a cushion.

Gerontology: The scientific study of the process and problems of aging.

Hackamore: Circular device fitting around a horse’s muzzle, an alternative to a metal bit in his mouth, by which the rider communicates signals.

Half-halt: With a rider mounted, the horse is slowed almost to a stop, and then abruptly urged back to normal speed.

Harrington Rod Insertion: A procedure to stabilize the spine by fusing together two or more vertebrae, using either metal (Harrington) rods or bone grafts.

Hemispherectomy: Excision of one cerebral hemisphere, undertaken due to intractable (not adequately controlled by medication) epilepsy, and other cerebral conditions.

Hippotherapy: From the Greek word for horse, hippos, literally meaning therapy with the aid of a horse.

Infantile Spasms: Brief (typically one to five seconds) seizures occurring in clusters of two to one hundred at a time, with possibly dozens of episodes per day.

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Medium 9780253001177

3. Pants Are for Boys and Girls

Jo B. Paoletti Indiana University Press ePub


From the end of the fourteenth century on, the most obvious difference between men’s and women’s clothing in Europe was that men’s legs were visible—encased in stockings, breeches, or trousers—and women’s were covered by skirts. European images of Muslim and Chinese women were made more exotic by their wearing trousers. (Thus the old expression “wearing the pants in the family,” referring to family authority.) When, in the 1850s, early feminists Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Amelia Bloomer adopted full Turkish-inspired trousers worn under calf-length dresses, it ignited a culture war. The history of the gender significance of trousers, breeches, and other bifurcated forms of dress is complicated and would take us too far astray, so here is the condensed version.

Long ago, whether one wore a skirt or trousers was a matter of culture or class, not sex. In her groundbreaking 1973 exhibit catalog, Cut My Cote, Dorothy Burnham demonstrated that the choice of shaped (trousers) or draped (skirts) garments was initially technological, stemming from the desire to create body coverings from the most available materials with a minimum of waste. For societies whose most abundant materials were animal hides, the shape of those skins lent themselves to garments with fitted arms and legs. Agricultural societies developed fibers such as wool, silk, and linen along with the technologies (spinning, weaving) for turning them into cloth, resulting in garments based on rectangles. These basic forms were eventually retained even as the available materials expanded to include both skins and cloth. In 1000 CE, both women and men in Persia and Mongolia wore trousers and coats or jackets with fitted sleeves, and both men and women in Constantinople wore long robes.

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Medium 9781855750128

CHAPTER EIGHT: Treating the trauma-organized system

Arnon Bentovim Karnac Books ePub


A fundamental characteristic of the treatment of trauma-organized systems is the tremendous difficulty in breaking the taboo of silence and, once the taboo is broken, to maintain and develop the resulting conversations for the victim, the victimizes and other protective figures in the family. There is a tendency for disclosures to be disqualified, to disappear in a flurry of denial and blaming.

The first step of treatment is to explore the extent of violent action within the family context, to ensure that a victim is protected, and that through breaking the taboo of silence there can be an open acknowledgement by family members of what has happened within the family situation, what factors have initiated abusive action, and what factors are maintaining it

In this first phase one of the major decisions to be taken is how best to ensure the protection of a child—or an adult—victim of abuse. Is there a natural protector within the family, e.g. can a non-abusive parent understand and believe sufficiently to be able to protect against further abusive action? Does the abuser take sufficient responsibility for his or her action to enable appropriate statutory services to work with families on a voluntary basis? Is there a need for appropriate statutory action excluding an abusive partner or parent from the home, or does a child have to be removed for his or her own safety?

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Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY tion with the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, offering competition for mentally and physically challenged riders. The name comes from the term “Top Hand,” an honor bestowed on the best ranch cowboys in the Old West.

Tourette’s Syndrome: A neurobehavioral disorder in which classic symptoms are uncontrollable facial and vocal tics. It affects about one in two thousand people, is three to four times more common in boys, and usually begins before the age of seven.

Transverse Myelites: A neurological disorder caused by spinal inflammation, part of a spectrum of neuroimmunologic diseases of the central nervous system. It can damage or destroy myelin, the fatty substance that insulates nerve fibers, resulting in varying degrees of paralysis.

Vaulting: Therapeutic vaulting is a modification of traditional vaulting.

The basic positions are taught, in an environment where the vaulters can progress at their own speed, while still being part of a group working together.

Vestibular System: The organ of the inner ear, containing several sets of three semicircular ducts at right angles to one another, which helps keep the body balanced. Also involved are the outer ear and the pull of gravity, which play a large roll in sensory integration. Over stimulation can cause motion sickness.

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Medium 9781574412697


Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF


But even as Ben rallied, the stress on the family was taking a toll.

July of 1991, Sue and I entered family counseling, trying to save our twenty-four-year marriage. As summer blended into fall, our relationship continued to unravel.

July 23, 1991. Sue and I met with Russ Dunckley, Ph.D., a family

therapist, to discuss some issues in our relationship. Sue and I had struggled repeatedly with my sexual orientation, beginning before we were married. She knew I was gay—my affair with Joel was no secret— but marriage was supposed to keep me on the straight and narrow.

An unlikely expectation, from a twenty-first century perspective, but one that we held on to in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

By late summer of 1991, I was losing control. Beneath the fortress of our marriage, tectonic plates were shifting. I dreamed about a small city in Iowa, like Iowa City, where Sue and I had lived during our first three years together. In my dream, a building collapsed, burying hundreds. Then the top half of a glass-and-steel tower imploded.

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Chapter Ten Puppy Love: Teaching Pet Care

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

IT WAS A RAINY morning and the SeaWorld coaches and trainees were gathered in the training room. Head trainer Clint said, “I noticed some of you were working on the animals’ dental hygiene the other day. It made me think about what a far cry those procedures are from what we went through back when I first started in this job.”

“Who was president then, Clint?” Jared, a trainer coach, asked from the back of the room. “George Washington?” Good-natured kidding was part of the SeaWorld culture, and the remark brought guffaws from the audience.

“I can’t remember,” Clint replied, playing along. “I just know it was back in the horse-and-buggy days. Anyway, looking back to those times, I can’t believe how naive we were, how lacking in even a rudimentary understanding of these killer whales, compared to today. We were going strictly by trial and error.

“As you know, when we’re working with a baby whale, we spend a lot of time before getting in the water with him, establishing trust with him and the mother. Getting the mom’s trust is the main thing. She has to trust us tremendously to allow us in the water with her little baby.”

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CHAPTER THREE: Developing a social-interactional-systemic account of family violence

Arnon Bentovim Karnac Books ePub

Although, as we have seen in chapter one, the social organization of the family by definition makes it prone to conflict, the social-interactional approach argues that the family must be seen within a cultural context where violence is tolerated, accepted, and even mandated for. Dobash and Dobash (1979), two of the strongest proponents of a feminist gender-based view of family violence, describe women in society as “appropriate victims” of family violence and seen as deserving of blame and punishment. Generally physical punishment in the bringing up of children is still widely accepted. Although attempts in Scandinavia to construct a view that children should not be hit has shown some evidence of success, there is a broadly accepted view that within families it is permissible, or even proper, to hit people you love, for more powerful people to hit less powerful people, and to use hitting to achieve some end or goal.

Although the argument about the use of violence appears to refer to physical violence, the same argument in my view extends to sexual or emotional violence. In this context sexual violence is an act perpetrated not as a mutual act freely enjoyed by partners who can consent, but as an act initiated for the satisfaction of one individual without the consent of a partner, or with a partner who by reason of age or understanding could not give consent.

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7. First Words

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

“Okay, thanks,” I called back.

Sam didn’t notice the smoke or the bees. He just went on.

At the end of Y Street, we’d walk past a dusty Chevy

Chevette parked on the other side. The tires on the little blue car were flat and it never moved from its spot. One day, as we walked by the car, a twentysomething man came out of the house and down the porch carrying a baseball bat. With a big swing, he smashed the front windshield. He looked up and seemed surprised to see me and Sam.

“It’s okay,” he called. “It doesn’t run anymore.” My own startled look softened and I smiled. Sometimes, I’d like to put a baseball bat through a car window, I thought. My career’s going nowhere; I’m thirty and pregnant—accidentally, again; and I can’t keep up with the toddler I have.

Sam turned right for a short sprint on Miller Street and right again for the final stretch down Sherman Way. Cutting across our tiny front lawn of Bermuda grass lined with Shasta daisies that were always flopped over, Sam rounded the fragrant, white star jasmine vine I’d planted. He jumped up the stairs to the front door and let himself in. The welcome end of another chase-Sam-around-the-block episode for me. But for

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Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

As activists or people who deeply care about others, we want our society to work for all, and our world to be safe and plentiful for our future generations. For this reason, many of us commit heart and energy to the causes important to us. Maybe our cause is to protect our environment, ensure safe schools and parks for our children, or raise funds to prevent AIDS or cancer. In our passion to make a difference, we often become so focused on our cause that we miss a key principle essential to advancing our vision. The change we desire in the world begins within ourselves and our networks of family and friends.

The idea that we must embody the change we desire is critical, and the “we” includes our circles of family and friends. Whether our commitment is for social justice or a sustainable world, family must be included. For it is among family and friends that we most experience the relationships and support that bring us meaning and joy. Yet, despite the central role that families play in our lives, we often neglect to teach love and change among the people closest to us, to care for and enlist them in creating the better world we seek.

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2. Preschool Memories

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

cooing or coaxing helped him to sleep. Finally, exhausted, I stood up. Sam was crying. So was I.

“Today is gone. Today was fun,” I said with tears rolling down my cheeks. His face relaxed. His eyes looked straight into mine. Although I was almost overwhelmed by the unfamiliar feeling of his full gaze, I continued, wiping my cheeks with my shirt. “Tomorrow is another one.”

He smiled as I straightened out his comforter around him and let my voice decrescendo. “Every day, from here to there, . . .”

“. . . funny things are everywhere,” he finished.

Preschool Memories

Sam’s third birthday loomed, which meant we had to say goodbye to Nancy and her home visits. The county ran the infant development programs, but once children turned three years old,

Sacramento City Unified School District assumed responsibility.

Their special education staff insisted that Sam be evaluated again, even though the county had evaluated him only six months earlier. They wouldn’t test Sam in the comfort of our living room, either. Instead, we were sequestered in a small room at an old elementary school near Goethe Park. I was grateful for winter sunshine coming through the short, wide window at the far end of the room. Was this once someone’s office, and had they enjoyed looking up from their desk at the leaves on the trees outside? In Sacramento, leaves clung to trees through fall and winter. In Wisconsin, maple, oak, and elm trees turned blazing red and orange before the leaves piled high on the ground and left tree skeletons behind.

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Chapter Four The Redirection Strategy: Handling Tantrums

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“DARN IT, Tutan’s just not getting it.”

It was a hot afternoon, and Amy was discouraged after unsuccessfully trying to get one of the younger killer whales to avoid the gate that led to the performance stadium. Each time the other animals were called there to go out into the show area and perform, Tutan would dash over there. Amy walked over to the office and found Kim Lee, her coach.

“Hey, is it just me, or is Tutan a slow learner?” she said.

“What’s going on?” Kim Lee asked.

When Amy told her, she smiled. “Tutan’s just excited when he sees any of his friends called to the gate. He knows something really fun is happening out there in the stadium.”

Kim Lee’s patient, understanding tone restored Amy’s shattered confidence. She realized she hadn’t been approaching the situation from Tutan’s point of view. “So, what’s the answer?” she asked.

“When a killer whale’s acting up like this, what’s the rule?” Kim prodded.

Amy took a deep breath and thought. “Look around for the reason?” she said.

“Sounds good. In this case, the whale is going to the gate because he knows the pool beyond the gate is highly reinforcing, and the other whales are going to get to go while he has to stay in back. So next time, what could you do to make him want to stay in the back pool?”

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Forrie, Allan Thistledown Press ePub
In “Tango Medio” by Sandy Bonny a woman and her beekeeper fiancé have reached a point of stagnation in their relationship. After an evening watching the sunset on the bridge, Darryl’s repetition of the question “D’ya love me?” prompts the narrator to reconsider her commitment.

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