270 Chapters
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Medium 9781574412444

3. Other Holidays

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

“Hey, you’ve got to see this. It’s about autism, and it’s in

Syracuse,” Mark said. A news anchor had announced the next story segment coming up on 20/20, ABC’s television news magazine.

I pushed back from the computer and rubbed my eyes as

I walked into the living room. Mark wasn’t sitting in the platform rocker. He was standing a few feet in front of the television set, his arms in front of his chest and holding his chin in his hands.

The program featured an education professor doing innovative, but controversial, work with children and young adults with autism. His clients couldn’t speak at all. Some of them barely had control over their arms and legs, let alone the dozens of tiny facial muscles that must be harnessed in order to speak. But when adults sat next to them and helped them keep their typing hands steady, they typed whatever they had to say.

They had smart, sophisticated ideas. Autism appeared to trap those ideas in their brains, an effect similar to cerebral palsy and other developmental disabilities that compromise muscle control.

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Medium 9781574412697

Doctors to the Rescue

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Doctors to the Rescue

“I practice three kinds of medicine,” said Dr. Constantine Kotsanis,

gesturing, “right, left, and center. On the right, drugs and surgery.

On the left, energy fields, prayer, and spiritual healing. The center is nutrition, tests, amino acids, pharmaceuticals when you need them.

What kind of treatment do you want for Ben?”

Dr. Kotsanis was an integrative physician and a founding member of Defeat Autism Now!, a society of doctors who pioneered the biomedical approach to treating autism. We had come to enroll Ben in a study that later would become part of the Defeat Autism Now! biomedical protocols, designed to help recover autistic kids.

“We live in a marvelous age,” said Dr. Kotsanis. “Libraries at our fingertips. Cell phones in our pockets. Airplanes to France, Athens,

Madrid. Call anybody, go anywhere.” He looked at me. “So who pays”? He turned around and pointed to Ben. “He pays.”

Dr. Kotsanis’s argument was that toxic waste in our air, food, and water had reached a critical threshold. Autistic kids were canaries in a coal mine. The difference between organized crime and organized medicine was one of degree. HMOs were driven by greed, doctors in the pocket of the drug companies. But no one was blameless.

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Medium 9781523097821

16 Box Problems

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Do you remember my experience in San Francisco?” Bud asked.


“Remember the problems I had there? How I wasn’t engaged, wasn’t committed, and was making things more difficult for others?”

“Yeah, I remember.”

Bud erased everything that had been written next to the self-betrayal diagram. Then he wrote the following:

“Okay, here are a few of the problems I had in San Francisco,” he said, as he stepped back from the board. “My ‘symptoms,’ as it were. But let’s add as many kinds of problems to this list as we can. What are some other common people problems in organizations?”

“Conflict,” I said. “Lack of motivation.”

“Stress,” Kate added.

“Poor teamwork,” I said.

“Hold on a minute,” said Bud, writing furiously. “I’m trying to get them all up here. Okay, go ahead. What else?”

“Backbiting, alignment problems, lack of trust,” Kate said.

“Lack of accountability,” I offered. “Bad attitudes. Communication problems.”

“Okay, good,” Bud said, finishing the last few. “That’s a good enough list. Now let’s take a look and compare it with the story right over here where I failed to get up and tend to my child.”

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Medium 9780253350497

2. Voluntary Action for the Public Good

Robert L. Payton Indiana University Press ePub

Most readers of this book can surely come up with at least a tentative answer to the question “What is philanthropy?” Chances are that these answers will vary widely, from “giving money” to “giving to help others” to the more literal and more general “love of mankind.” In fact, the same would be true if we asked scholars of philanthropy for their definitions.

We said in the previous chapter that to get at the “Why” questions about philanthropy, we will explore some of our answers to this question, “What is philanthropy?” And we have already given our primary (though not our only) answer: “Philanthropy is voluntary action for the public good.” The purpose of this chapter is to unpack that definition. In doing so we will have a chance to discuss many of the features of the broad and diverse subject of philanthropy and to clarify just what is distinctive about philanthropy and what is special about its mission.

We started this book with the assertion that the concept of philanthropy is a multiplicity. In fact, when we dig deeper we see that our basic definition itself embraces this multiplicity. “Voluntary action,” as we define it, encompasses both voluntary giving and voluntary service, the former usually referring to gifts of money and the latter to gifts of time. But we also include voluntary association as a third form of voluntary action. Voluntary association is the vehicle or instrument for philanthropic giving and service; it organizes gifts of money and time to accomplish public purposes. Philanthropy’s impact on society is only possible because of voluntary associations.

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Medium 9781574411904


Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY ing the people, animals, nature, and situations therein, emphasizing emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Frog (horse anatomy): Wedge-shaped substance in the sole of the hoof which acts as a cushion.

Gerontology: The scientific study of the process and problems of aging.

Hackamore: Circular device fitting around a horse’s muzzle, an alternative to a metal bit in his mouth, by which the rider communicates signals.

Half-halt: With a rider mounted, the horse is slowed almost to a stop, and then abruptly urged back to normal speed.

Harrington Rod Insertion: A procedure to stabilize the spine by fusing together two or more vertebrae, using either metal (Harrington) rods or bone grafts.

Hemispherectomy: Excision of one cerebral hemisphere, undertaken due to intractable (not adequately controlled by medication) epilepsy, and other cerebral conditions.

Hippotherapy: From the Greek word for horse, hippos, literally meaning therapy with the aid of a horse.

Infantile Spasms: Brief (typically one to five seconds) seizures occurring in clusters of two to one hundred at a time, with possibly dozens of episodes per day.

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Medium 9781574415247

Chapter 1. Unwrapping

Kathryn U. Hulings University of North Texas Press PDF


Michael came wrapped in layers, too many for a pleasant spring day. Even indoors, a small knitted cap was secured over his ears with yarn tied in a sloppy bow underneath his chin, brushing up against a matching sweater buttoned high on his neck. There was a small bead of sweat on his brow, but he seemed parched; a blister festered on his lower lip and, in the fluorescent lights, his skin was a dusky shade of pale yellow swirled with pasty blue. Where his head had been shaved on the sides to accommodate an IV tube insertion a few days earlier, I could see pea-green veins throb in a nervous, thirsty flow. About half an hour earlier, before I held Michael in my arms, I had met his escort, a close relative of his, who was also blanketed in perspiration from her trek through the labyrinth of Stapleton Airport.

It was not difficult to spot this small, winded woman and the quiet infant she carried on her bosom like a backwards papoose. In addition to the baby, she lugged a large blue duffel bag over her shoulder. Exiting the terminal ramp, she had a lost, searching look, not unlike a child on the first day of kindergarten who, before entering the classroom, peers over her shoulder to make sure Mommy is still there, waving her on, nodding in assurance. I was not sure if this woman, whose voice I’d heard, but whose face I’d never seen, was looking backwards for comfort or forward for closure; either way, I ached for her.

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Medium 9781523097821

1 Bud

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

It was a brilliant summer morning shortly before nine, and I was hurrying to the most important meeting of my new job at Zagrum Company. As I walked across the tree-lined grounds, I recalled the day two months earlier when I had first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters to interview for a senior management position. I had been watching the company for more than a decade from my perch at one of its competitors and had tired of finishing second. After eight interviews and three weeks spent doubting myself and waiting for news, I was hired to lead one of Zagrum’s product lines.

Now, four weeks later, I was about to be introduced to a senior management ritual peculiar to Zagrum: a daylong one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Bud was the right-hand man to Zagrum’s president, Kate Stenarude. And due to a shift within the executive team, he was about to become my new boss.

I had tried to find out what this meeting was all about, but my colleagues’ explanations confused me. They mentioned a discovery that solves “people problems”; how no one really focuses on results; and that something about the “Bud Meeting,” as it was called, and strategies that evidently follow from it, are key to Zagrum’s incredible success. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was eager to meet, and impress, my new boss.

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Medium 9781574413335


Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

Turn Scared into Sacred

One of the most daunting hurdles facing women before birth is fear. Especially for the first time, some expectant mothers may burden themselves with concerns that may never happen. Sometimes negative feelings from a previous labor linger. Whereas animals rely on instinct or whether they can see, smell or hear danger, women tend to worry needlessly. Negative thoughts can grow into a dragon with several heads—anxiety, panic, and dread.

But hope exists. By looking at the ways you get scared, you can learn how to turn that energy into the sacred.Turn Scared into Sacred is the third natural birth secret: taking your darkest fears and facing them with faith in your own way. Frances Moore Lappe, co-author of You Have the Power: Choosing Courage in a Culture of Fear, says fear is an energy— an energy you can use to your advantage. Instead of freezing up, you can move through the stages of birth naturally by designing your “shield of courage” ahead of time.

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Medium 9781576750919

PeopleSmart Skill 8

Silberman, Mel Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

If you never budge, don’t expect a push.


It’s often good advice to be yourself. If you are in your fifties, you would not pass as a cool teenager in the company of adolescents. If you are a formal person, you would probably look and feel ridiculous being flamboyant. It’s hard to pretend to be the kind of person you aren’t, and it’s often counterproductive. You lose your genuineness and dampen the many strengths you’ve taken a lifetime to develop. You also confuse other people who know you for who you are and are disconcerted when you behave differently.202

Nevertheless, high PQ people know that there are times when it’s necessary to shift gears. They don’t change with the winds like most politicians but they appreciate that when things are stuck, behaving in new ways can get things moving again. The Bible provides interesting cases in point:

The Biblical Jacob represents an intriguing example of someone with many personal strengths who had difficulty shifting gears. The younger twin brother of Esau, Jacob pretended, at his mother’s urging, to be Esau so that his nearly blind father, Isaac, would bestow upon him the blessing of inheritance. If he had not done so, Esau, the firstborn but of questionable character, would have succeeded Isaac. At the same time, Jacob’s deceit created a nearly fatal estrangement from his brother Esau. To his credit, Jacob did well with his responsibility. He spiritually wrestled with the angel of God and survived. He became a vital link in the transmission of the Biblical covenant between God and the Israelites. Through his two wives, Leah and Rachel, and his concubines, he had twelve sons who became the heads of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. However, his own life was marked by anguish and pain, especially over the apparent death of his favorite son, Joseph, who, in fact, was sold into slavery by his jealous brothers. The tragedy occurred because Jacob did not learn from his own childhood experience of sibling rivalry and gave his favorite son a “coat of many colors” and a special place in his heart.203

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Medium 9781574415247

Chapter 7. Believing

Kathryn U. Hulings University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781523095056

10 Institutions Can Build Bridges to Belonging

Ross, Howard J.; Tartaglione, JonRobert Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

There is immense power when a group of people with similar interests gets together to work toward the same goals.


A community is the mental and spiritual condition of knowing that the place is shared, and that the people who share the place define and limit the possibilities of each other’s lives. It is the knowledge that people have of each other, their concern for each other, their trust in each other, the freedom with which they come and go among themselves.


I started this book with the story of three people, Joan Smith, Barry Jones, and Fatima Mohammed, and their meeting at the Munchester Industries holiday party. The coincidental meeting of these characters at the party points to the reality and the promise of organizations as a source of belonging in our world today. At that moment, the three are confronted with their differences. Yet at the same time they are confronted with the reality that despite those dissimilarities, they have to come together on a daily basis and work together toward the common goals of their company.

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Medium 9781576755846

21 Action

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Lou waited. “Okay, what is it?” he asked. “What is this final step you’re talking about?”

“Gwyn,” Yusuf said, “do you remember your dad’s favorite word?”

“Too well, I’m afraid,” she smirked.

“What does her father have to do with it?” Lou asked, impatiently.

“Actually, Lou, he has everything to do with it.”

“How so?”

“Gwyn is Ben Arrig’s daughter.”

Lou wouldn’t have been more surprised had the Easter Bunny come through the door. Jaw muscles went slack around the room.

“Don’t be too impressed,” Gwyn said in the silence of the gawking gazes, “Sometimes our parents are the last people we can hear, you know?” she said, mostly to herself.

Heads nodded everywhere.

“My ears have been closed to my dad’s ideas for years. ‘Don’t try to feed your philosophy to me,’ I used to tell him when he tried to suggest that I think of things a different way. He thought I should give up the hate I have for my former husband, forgive a sister who has wronged me, and rethink my opinions on race. But he was my dad. What did he know?”

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Medium 9781576755846

18 Surrender

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Yusuf tilted his head down to intercept Lou’s faraway gaze. “I know that look,” he said. “It’s how I look when I possess no real conviction that things can ever get better. It is the look of despair and surrender.”

Lou took that in and considered it. “Yeah, I suppose that is how I’m feeling,” he conceded.

“It’s a seductively powerful feeling,” Yusuf continued, “this feeling of despairing surrender. But it’s a lie.”

Lou suddenly perked up. “How so?”

“Because it’s assuming something that isn’t true.”


“It’s assuming that you’re stuck—that you’re doomed to continue suffering as you have been.”

This was, in fact, what Lou was feeling. He slumped again in his chair.

“Just a moment ago, Lou,” Yusuf began, “you said that you were the mess. Not others, but you.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” Lou asked forlornly.

“No,” Yusuf responded, “but it should give you hope.”

“How so?”

“Because if you are the mess, you can clean it. Improvement doesn’t depend on others.”

“But what if the mess isn’t purely mine?” Lou responded sullenly. “What if the people around me are just as messed up as I am?”

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Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

The most powerful tools to advance the well-being of our relationships, families, and communities are our love and the vision we develop of what is possible. We can create relationships of powerful mutual support. We can transform family life from complacent disconnection to purposeful enthusiasm that inspires change. We can develop communities to become a movement for cultural transformation and corporate accountability.

The prior chapters spoke to the philosophy of family activism, key definitions, guiding principles, and the commitments that comprise the Familia Approach. Before I present the actual tools involved in my approach to family activism, I want to introduce a vision of possibility by sharing the story of how family activism contributed to the transformation of my family. Not that we have become a model of the ultimate caring family, yet we were able to move from a state of dysfunction to become a true familia, taking good care of each other while contributing much love to our multiple communities.

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Medium 9781523097821

24 Another Chance

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“As you can gather,” Lou said, “she called. I was given a second chance. And the Zagrum you’ve been admiring over these many years has been the result of that second chance.

“We made a lot of mistakes as we got restarted together. The only thing we did really well at the outset was to cover with our people the ideas you’ve learned over these last two days. We didn’t necessarily know all the implications in the workplace, so at first we stayed at the level of the general ideas. And you know something? It made a big difference. Just what Bud’s done for you these two days—that alone, when learned by people in a common enterprise, has a powerful, lasting effect. We know because we’ve measured the results over time.

“But over the last 20 or so years, we’ve become much more sophisticated in the specific application of the material to business. As we became more out of the box as a company, we were able to identify and develop a specific plan of action that minimizes the basic workplace self-betrayal that we’ve been talking about. Right out of the chute, when people generally are still out of the box toward their coworkers and the company, we introduce our people to this way of working together.”

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