328 Slices
  Title Author Publisher Format Buy Remix
Medium 9781574412970

Secret 4: Don’t Take Labor Lying Down: Gravity Is Your Friend

Kalena Cook and Margaret Christensen, M.D. University of North Texas Press PDF


Don’t Take Labor Lying Down

Gravity Is Your Friend

Did you know that the most painful position in childbirth is lying on your back? Women in labor pain aren’t aware that lying supine restricts blood flow and makes contractions intolerable. Yet this is the position used in most U.S. labor and delivery hospitals.

Outside of pregnancy, women find themselves on their back with their feet in stirrups (known as the lithotomy position) only for their vaginal exams and pap smears.The main reason women are instructed to lie supine is because that position provides visibility for the caregiver during labor and for cutting an episiotomy. It provides hospital staff convenience for hooking the patient to a monitoring belt and an IV. Yet birthing supine hurts because the baby is actually born uphill. No wonder women want an epidural!

Before the advent of hospital births around 1900, women gave birth upright.The reason? Gravity is your friend.Ancient sculpture and art drawings depict women being upright for their labor and delivery.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781523095056

4 Power, Privilege, Race, and Belonging

Ross, Howard J.; Tartaglione, JonRobert Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.


The past is never dead. It’s not even past.


Our Munchester Industries trio, Joan, Barry, and Fatima, represent the intersectionality of our identities in a powerful way. Joan is white, and also a woman and Christian; any one of these identities might predominate, depending upon the circumstances she finds herself in. The same holds for Barry’s white, Jewish, gay, and male identities, and for Fatima’s Muslim and female identities, as well as her status as a woman of color. All of them are significant, but none more so than race.

Much has been and will be written about why Donald Trump was able to pull off one of the greatest electoral upsets in history, but underneath all the very complex narratives that one can tell about the election, there is a very simple one that is inescapable: this election was a testament to how race is an aspect of our lives that simultaneously generates a profound experience of belonging and is the essence of “us versus them.” It also is a reflection on the dynamics of power and privilege that exist within our historical racial hierarchy. What do the voting patterns that we saw in the 2016 election, patterns that have been relatively consistent for almost forty years, tell us about belonging in America by race? Are we even one country when it comes to racial attitudes? It’s fair to say that race in America has historically been a domain where our sense of bonding and bridging has been more unhealthy than healthy.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781574415247

Chapter 8. Learning

Kathryn U. Hulings University of North Texas Press PDF


I wrote and hand delivered a letter to Michael’s elementary school prin-

cipal after he brought home a project on Native Americans, complete with a Crayola picture of a chief in feathers and war paint, and a story scratched out in his emerging block print. The project was intended to provide a sample of his work, proof of progress or not, and a prompt for discussion at his upcoming Individual Education Plan (IEP). And, what a piece of work it was. The first and only line read, “My name is

Crazy Horse because I like to act crazy.” My letter to the principal suggested, that perhaps, just maybe, it might have been a good idea to teach the kids that Crazy Horse was a courageous Lakota named for his father, to talk a bit about Little Big Horn, and to mention the monument in

South Dakota. I wrote quickly, because I didn’t want this issue to cloud my son’s IEP which was within a week. I wrote deliberately, nearly breaking my pencil as I pushed words onto paper. I wrote stoically, because I believed the warrior I was becoming needed to refuse to cry.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781771870788


Forrie, Allan Thistledown Press ePub
Creativity in the kitchen and bedroom take centre stage during a conjugal visit in Susan Musgrave’s “What Would Buddha Do?”

See All Chapters
Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER TWO. The twenty-first century: what changes?

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Giovanna Ambrosio

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.”

Jewish proverb

Parthogenetic mothers: narcissism and omnipotence

For the purpose of suggesting and, above all, sharing some thoughts and queries about the prospects of maternity in the twenty-first century, I should like to consider the matter from the viewpoint of historic and social change, paying particular attention to the psychic aspects.

First, I should like to say that my position on problems related to one’s own body is that of respect for the principle of self-determination on the part of the subject, even more so since I live in a country where there is a troublesome tendency to legislate on many aspects of what is “private” and, even worse, in increasingly restrictive terms.

More specifically, I propose a brief reflection on the theme of maternity with reference to those particular clinical psycho-pathological situations of pathologies of the self and of narcissistic personality disorders. In fact, sometimes in these cases the fantasy of becoming a mother “at all costs” would seem to be mainly nourished by a system of needs belonging to the primary narcissism register and are completely remote from the possibility of acceding to recognition of the other and to the oedipal drive register.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781626564312

PART IV Spreading Peace

Arbinger Institute, The Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Do you remember yesterday morning when I drew a pyramid and divided it into two levels?” Yusuf asked. “I called one level ‘dealing with things that are going wrong,’ and the deeper level ‘helping things go right.’ Remember?”

Everyone nodded.

“Then you’ll remember how we agreed that we normally spend most of our time dealing with things that are going wrong, even though that isn’t ideal.”

Again, the group nodded.

“I’d like to give you more detail around that pyramid,” he said. “It forms a structure that governs everything we do here at Camp Moriah with the children, with the staff, and with you. It shows not only how to find peace, but how to make it. It shows how to replace conflict with cooperation.”

At that, Yusuf turned and drew a pyramid similar to the one he had drawn the day before. As before, he divided it between dealing with things that are going wrong and helping things go right. But then he divided it still further into six levels and wrote “Correct” in the top level.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781576755846

1 Enemies in the Desert

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“I’m not going!” The teenage girl’s shriek pulled everyone’s attention to her. “You can’t make me go!”

The woman she was yelling at attempted a reply. “Jenny, listen to me.”

“I’m not going!” Jenny screamed. “I don’t care what you say. I won’t!”

At this, the girl turned and faced a middle-aged man who seemed torn between taking her into his arms and slinking away unnoticed. “Daddy, please!” she bawled.

Lou Herbert, who was watching the scene from across the parking lot, knew before Jenny spoke that this was her father. He could see himself in the man. He recognized the ambivalence he felt toward his own child, eighteen-year-old Cory, who was standing stiffly at his side.

Cory had recently spent a year in prison for a drug conviction. Less than three months after his release, he was arrested for stealing a thousand dollars’ worth of prescription painkillers, bringing more shame upon himself and, Lou thought, the family. This treatment program better do something to shape Cory up, Lou said to himself. He looked back at Jenny and her father, whom she was now clutching in desperation. Lou was glad Cory had been sent here by court order. It meant that a stunt like Jenny’s would earn Cory another stint in jail. Lou was pretty sure their morning would pass without incident.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781855758186


Susanne Soborg Christensen Karnac Books ePub


In the previous chapters, we have discussed how we can develop acknowledging intimacy, and how our neurobiological development is directly influenced by acknowledging intimacy. In this chapter, we will try to look at the ways and means we can use in order to create and achieve acknowledging intimacy between us as partners. We shall also look at how this affects our children and how we, in a joint effort with our children, can develop an explicit acknowledging intimacy.

The tool we use is called the Acknowledging Dialogue. To us, this opens up an extremely efficient and exciting pathway to the development of deeper, more enduring, and generous relationships. The Acknowledging Dialogue is, first and foremost, a way of communicating which opens up a new connection and empathy. This dialogue is inspired by Active Listening and Imago Relationship Therapy.

We have chosen to call the tool the Acknowledging Dialogue because, to our way of thinking, acknowledgement is a central concept. In this context, acknowledgement means a way of being which enables us to put ourselves in our partner’s shoes and see the world through our partner’s eyes. In addition, acknowledgement includes the ability to respect the fact that our partner may see the world differently from us. As we have mentioned, difference does not equal deficit.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781605093482

Chapter Four The Redirection Strategy: Handling Tantrums

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“DARN IT, Tutan’s just not getting it.”

It was a hot afternoon, and Amy was discouraged after unsuccessfully trying to get one of the younger killer whales to avoid the gate that led to the performance stadium. Each time the other animals were called there to go out into the show area and perform, Tutan would dash over there. Amy walked over to the office and found Kim Lee, her coach.

“Hey, is it just me, or is Tutan a slow learner?” she said.

“What’s going on?” Kim Lee asked.

When Amy told her, she smiled. “Tutan’s just excited when he sees any of his friends called to the gate. He knows something really fun is happening out there in the stadium.”

Kim Lee’s patient, understanding tone restored Amy’s shattered confidence. She realized she hadn’t been approaching the situation from Tutan’s point of view. “So, what’s the answer?” she asked.

“When a killer whale’s acting up like this, what’s the rule?” Kim prodded.

Amy took a deep breath and thought. “Look around for the reason?” she said.

“Sounds good. In this case, the whale is going to the gate because he knows the pool beyond the gate is highly reinforcing, and the other whales are going to get to go while he has to stay in back. So next time, what could you do to make him want to stay in the back pool?”

See All Chapters
Medium 9781574412444

Chapter Four: Year Four

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF



Favorite Books, Favorite Music

WE RETURNED TO THE NIMBUS GRAY SKIES of an upstate New York winter with our Christmas bounty, including several new toys for the boys and more winter clothes, something we didn’t collect much of while living in California. Sam received three halfhour videotapes filled with Dr. Seuss books from Mark’s aunt, a West Texas schoolteacher, for a Christmas present. He watched them on Mom and Dad’s video player dozens of times before we left. With one book on each tape, the animators set Dr.

Seuss’s words in motion. Sam’s eyes darted as capital A catapulted across the screen.

“BIG A little a

What begins with A?”

I hoped Sam might see the letter a and recognize the secret code of this squiggly shape: the first sound of “Aunt Annie’s alligator . . . . . . . A . . a . . A.” But at least something literary and artful held his attention for thirty minutes at a time.

We were finding places for the new stuff all around the living room floor, making the flat look like a kids’ house where

See All Chapters
Medium 9781574412970

Secret 6: Learn Hospital Strategies: Buy Time and Let Go

Kalena Cook and Margaret Christensen, M.D. University of North Texas Press PDF


Learn Hospital Strategies

Buy Time and Let Go

I advised Lisa to stay at home until she couldn’t talk through a contraction, because once you go to the hospital, your arrival time is documented. “It’s like punching in on a clock,” I told her. “Your progress becomes measured by the hour. Even with your husband at your side, bring a female doula or a friend to support you because the nurses will be in and out. Keep upright as much as possible during active labor— don’t take labor lying down.You can do it.”

As Lisa sat on my patio sipping her iced tea that sunny day, I shared with her the benefits of natural childbirth. She didn’t think her doctor would support it. At thirty weeks into her pregnancy, she switched to another doctor who was known for delivering natural births. Lisa shares her successful birth of Jacob.

Stretching Time

Lisa’s Story

After Erika brought me over to talk with Kalena (the author), I switched to a new doctor who supported natural birth in a hospital. I saw my new doctor for my first two visits and had one visit with each of her female partners so I would know whoever would be on-call. Each doctor answered my questions and was nice. My doctor gave me the impression that if I needed an hour of her time to answer questions, she'd give it. I did not feel rushed at all with her. She was laid back and thorough.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781855758186


Susanne Soborg Christensen Karnac Books ePub


In order to get a handle on all the respective conflicts between children and parents, we have developed a special variation of the Acknowledging Dialogue between parents who focus on:

  what our frustrations as parents remind us of;

  a shared reflection on our behaviour and the feelings we have as parents;

  wishes for change.

The purpose is to develop our self-understanding and under standing of each other as parents and, thereby, create a space in which our children can develop. Ultimately, we want to see our children with new eyes and with a calm, open mind. When we do that, we can effectively avoid making the same mistakes as our parents. We can also stop ourselves from passing on bad behaviour patterns to our children.

Like the Acknowledging Dialogue, the dialogue for parents is based on acknowledging and mirroring. However, the Acknowl edging Dialogue is expanded to include childhood memories, events in our childhood that our frustrations remind us of. There is always an emotional bridge to childhood memories or other memories connected to significant relationships, be it an inatten tive mother, an ex-lover, or a frightening German teacher. We can all leave these emotional links behind and discover the origin of our congruent frustrations, criticism, dissatisfaction, or anger. This process is embedded in the beliefs about communicating in acknowledging ways, as in the Acknowledging Dialogue.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781574411904


Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY ing the people, animals, nature, and situations therein, emphasizing emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual well-being.

Frog (horse anatomy): Wedge-shaped substance in the sole of the hoof which acts as a cushion.

Gerontology: The scientific study of the process and problems of aging.

Hackamore: Circular device fitting around a horse’s muzzle, an alternative to a metal bit in his mouth, by which the rider communicates signals.

Half-halt: With a rider mounted, the horse is slowed almost to a stop, and then abruptly urged back to normal speed.

Harrington Rod Insertion: A procedure to stabilize the spine by fusing together two or more vertebrae, using either metal (Harrington) rods or bone grafts.

Hemispherectomy: Excision of one cerebral hemisphere, undertaken due to intractable (not adequately controlled by medication) epilepsy, and other cerebral conditions.

Hippotherapy: From the Greek word for horse, hippos, literally meaning therapy with the aid of a horse.

Infantile Spasms: Brief (typically one to five seconds) seizures occurring in clusters of two to one hundred at a time, with possibly dozens of episodes per day.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781576754801


Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

The most powerful tools to advance the well-being of our relationships, families, and communities are our love and the vision we develop of what is possible. We can create relationships of powerful mutual support. We can transform family life from complacent disconnection to purposeful enthusiasm that inspires change. We can develop communities to become a movement for cultural transformation and corporate accountability.

The prior chapters spoke to the philosophy of family activism, key definitions, guiding principles, and the commitments that comprise the Familia Approach. Before I present the actual tools involved in my approach to family activism, I want to introduce a vision of possibility by sharing the story of how family activism contributed to the transformation of my family. Not that we have become a model of the ultimate caring family, yet we were able to move from a state of dysfunction to become a true familia, taking good care of each other while contributing much love to our multiple communities.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER THIRTEEN. New reproductive realities: paradoxes, parameters, and maternal orientations

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Joan Raphael-Leff

Motherhood in the twenty-first century involves many innovations that stretch traditional thinking. As clinicians we encounter these new manifestations increasingly in professional practices. Our psychoanalytic theories are expanding to encompass findings from other fields (neonatology developmental and neurobiological research, cultural studies, and reproductive physiology) and to address new patterns of family formation, some aided by reproductive technology. Efficient contraception, safe abortion, and, recently, egg-freezing, create an illusion of control over reproductive functions facilitating postponement of motherhood, and it is estimated that some 12-20% of women in Europe have decided to forgo motherhood entirely. Others resort to lone motherhood. Radical sociocultural changes with diminishing stigma of unwed mothers and improved earning capacity of women have led to many chance pregnancies being sustained rather than aborted, with a very high incidence of women raising babies on their own, especially among teenage girls. In addition, over the past decades, many older women utilized reproductive technology to become pregnant in the absence of a partner. Infertile people and same-sexed couples have also been assisted to become parents, sometimes with the aid of donors and surrogates. Finally, routine use of technology during pregnancy, such as ultrasound, amniocentesis and other types of antenatal or even pre-implanta-tion screening, prenatal surgery and selective foetocide, high-tech births and incubation of very premature babies, expose childbear-ing adults to illusions of control and, paradoxically, to catastrophic disillusionments leading to ethical dilemmas about keeping their babies alive or destroying them in reality.

See All Chapters

Load more