270 Chapters
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11: FORMING UNITY CIRCLES

Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

There is tremendous power when people gather in a circle. The circle serves to create a synergistic environment where people feel more connected and are better able to share and listen. In addition, many healing traditions recognize that the circle serves to facilitate healing by creating a vessel in which the positive energy generated by the group’s sharing is enhanced, negative energy that participants may be carrying is dissipated, and the group’s energy facilitates individual transformation.

My vision for society includes that, on any given day, thousands of circles of family and friends are expressing love for each other, gratitude for life, and optimism that we are making the world better for all. It involves people coming together as family and community, and sharing feelings and thoughts with each other that deepen connection, empower, and inspire. The best strategy for doing this is the unity circle. Learning to appreciate the power of these circles and how to facilitate them will prepare you with a valuable tool for making almost any group gathering an opportunity for inspiration. This chapter presents a series of examples of unity circles to activate your imagination around their many possible forms and to illustrate the role of the circle maker. The chapter ends with a review of key principles to assist the facilitator.

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5. Pink Is for Boys

Jo B. Paoletti Indiana University Press ePub

5 PINK IS FOR BOYS

When I first encountered the words below nearly thirty years ago, I stopped and reread them several times:

 

Pink or Blue? Which is intended for boys and which for girls? This question comes from one of our readers this month, and the discussion may be of interest to others. There has been a great diversity of opinion on this subject, but the generally accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.1

I was following up a minor sideline in a small project on babies’ clothing during the Progressive Era—the seemingly trivial question, “When were pink and blue introduced as gendered colors?” At that point, the white rabbit darted into its hole, and I dove in after it. Years later, I am back to tell the very complicated tale of how American baby and toddler clothing went from being completely devoid of sexual hints to almost completely separated into “his” and “hers” camps. And, for me, it all started with pink and blue.

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Medium 9781574412697

Photos

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781605093482

Chapter Seven Not Just Yours: Teaching Your Child to Share

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“TODAY IS ABOUT teaching the whales to share,” Clint announced. He’d had the trainers move a pair of killer whales into one pool for practice. Addressing the three trainees, he said, “Whales are like kids, in a way. They have to learn to share their toys and food and other things.” Clint gestured toward the whales, which were busy playing with the toys the trainers had tossed to them. “Also like young children, their goals are to get attention and acquire resources. So we have to teach them to share.”

The “toys” were truly whale-size. One was a fifty-five-gallon barrel. Another was a six-foot-diameter plastic ball. “We can’t even lift that,” Clint said, “but the whales toss it around like it was nothing, even flipping it out of the water. Now, let’s see what Jody does to begin teaching Tutan to share with Taat.” Amy was taking notes as she watched the experienced trainer playing catch with Tutan. Jody would toss the toy—a thick tie-down rope—to Tutan, and the whale would swim it back to her, pushing it with its nose. “Bear in mind that what Jody is using is Tutan’s favorite toy,” Clint said. “The next stage is to get the whales to share with each other.”

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Medium 9781574411621

Post-Bereavement Grief

Donna S. Davenport University of North Texas Press PDF

Post-Bereavement Grief p

And so, wherever I go and wherever you go, the ground between us will always be holy ground. quoted by Henri Nouwen

So what, after all, does death take away, and what do you get to keep? Clearly, when a loved one dies, we have to give up the physical presence, and all that entails, of the deceased. We have known this all along, of course, but the totality of the experience is still a shock when it happens—and it is not comprehended all at once, but is usually realized progressively over time. He or she will not be there for birthdays anymore, or to exchange thoughts and feelings and hugs with, or to check out memories with. We will not see their faces again, or hear their laughter, or prepare a holiday meal with them. The physical reality of the person, which up until now we had always associated with who they were, will be gone. Giving up this earthly connection is usually very painful for us; acclimating to the world without the physical presence of the loved one is both the cause and the function of grief.

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4 The Problem beneath Other Problems

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Have you ever heard of Ignaz Semmelweis?” Bud asked. (He pronounced it “Ignawts Semelvice.”)

“No, I don’t think so. Is it a sickness or something?”

“No, no,” he said with a chuckle. “But close. Semmelweis was a European doctor, an obstetrician, in the mid-1800s. He worked at the Vienna General Hospital, an important re-search hospital, where he tried to get to the bottom of a horrendous mortality rate among women in the maternity ward. In the section of the ward where Semmelweis practiced, the mortality rate was 1 in 10. Think of it. One in every 10 women giving birth there died! Can you imagine?”

“I wouldn’t have let my wife near the place,” I said.

“You wouldn’t have been alone. Vienna General had such a frightening reputation that some women actually gave birth on the street and then went to the hospital.”

“I don’t blame them,” I said.

“The collection of symptoms associated with these deaths,” Bud continued, “became known as ‘childbed fever.’ Conventional medical science at the time called for separate treatment for each symptom. Inflammation meant that excess blood was causing swelling—so they bled the patient or applied leeches. They treated fever the same way. Trouble breathing meant the air was bad—so they improved ventilation. And so on. But nothing worked. More than half of the women who contracted the disease died within days.

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Chapter Two The Bedtime Waltz: Establishing a Bedtime Routine

Blanchard, Ken Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

THE NEXT MORNING at SeaWorld, the staff and the three trainees gathered at poolside for a demonstration by Clint Jordan, the park curator and head trainer. He began with a warm greeting to the three newcomers. “The staff and I want you to know you are very welcome in our training program.” Cheers and whistles broke out from the group of trainers. “Each of you,” Clint went on, “has survived a rigorous interview and background-checking process to ensure that you are in the right place. I needn’t tell you that you are entering into a job that many people would love to have. In the entire world, only a handful get this opportunity. In fact, there are more astronauts than killer whale trainers.

“Let’s talk about safety,” said Clint. “There is an element of risk in working with these animals, especially with new people they don’t know. Killer whales are the top predators in the ocean. Adult whales can reach lengths of eighteen to twenty-three feet and weigh up to twelve thousand pounds. We have guidelines and emergency procedures in case someone were to jump or fall into the pool with the whales. In our shows we have safety guidelines for the public and for our training staff. It’s imperative that you follow instructions carefully as you get to know these animals.

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W

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

GLOSSARY tion with the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, offering competition for mentally and physically challenged riders. The name comes from the term “Top Hand,” an honor bestowed on the best ranch cowboys in the Old West.

Tourette’s Syndrome: A neurobehavioral disorder in which classic symptoms are uncontrollable facial and vocal tics. It affects about one in two thousand people, is three to four times more common in boys, and usually begins before the age of seven.

Transverse Myelites: A neurological disorder caused by spinal inflammation, part of a spectrum of neuroimmunologic diseases of the central nervous system. It can damage or destroy myelin, the fatty substance that insulates nerve fibers, resulting in varying degrees of paralysis.

Vaulting: Therapeutic vaulting is a modification of traditional vaulting.

The basic positions are taught, in an environment where the vaulters can progress at their own speed, while still being part of a group working together.

Vestibular System: The organ of the inner ear, containing several sets of three semicircular ducts at right angles to one another, which helps keep the body balanced. Also involved are the outer ear and the pull of gravity, which play a large roll in sensory integration. Over stimulation can cause motion sickness.

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7. Gendered and Neutral Clothing since 1985

Jo B. Paoletti Indiana University Press ePub

In the generation since the end of the unisex child rearing experiment, infants’ and toddlers’ clothing has changed from a market where neutral options were plentiful and even gendered clothing came in a wide range of colors to a consumerscape that is largely gender binary. So narrow are the choices that parents who wish to avoid gender stereotypes cannot shop in most mass-market retailers, whose neutral offerings are limited to newborn sizes. This shift occurred rapidly, beginning with the transformation in baby clothing around 1985. Suddenly, overalls, pants, and knitted tops, once staple neutral wardrobe items, were embellished with flowers or trucks. The infants’ departments in large stores were more sharply divided into “boys” and “girls” sections, with less space devoted to neutral styles.

The continued influence of parental anxiety about gender and sexuality is no doubt a factor in this change, since there is no evidence that it had ever disappeared. If anything, emotions stirred up by both the women’s liberation movement and the gay rights movement had raised the stakes for parents wanting to do the right thing. What “the right thing” might be was no clearer after a decade or so of sex role research and inhome experiments, and the battle lines were drawn between liberal and conservative parents in the modern culture wars. Conservative parents, as might be expected, argued in support of traditional, heteronormative masculinity and femininity, and they preferred clothing that reflected those values. Liberal parents were less predictable; some continued to seek out and purchase unisex clothing and reject strongly masculine and feminine styles. Others, especially those who had been children themselves during the 1970s, were less doctrinaire about the matter, letting their children be the final arbiters as they entered toddlerhood. Between conservative and liberal parents, of course, there were millions of parents who had no strong opinions on the matter at all.

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13: EXPANDING FAMILY ACTION INTO COMMUNITY ACTION

Vargas, Roberto Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

By applying the Familia Approach, we can all increase our ability to create positive influence in the world. We can facilitate experiences that foster joy and love within our families, while nurturing values that make us more caring people ready to serve our communities. We can create beloved and empowered community with family and friends who support each other as we pursue the evolution of our culture and the betterment of society. We can do all this when we have a clear vision, and believe in ourselves and our strategy.

Earlier, I described how multiple actions are often necessary to achieve our desired outcomes. Our vision of a better society actually involves a constellation of desired outcomes that begins with more empowered and caring individuals and families, who in turn can influence positive change among their communities and beyond. The effort we invest in our family networks is but one of the influences required to actualize this larger vision, which ultimately must involve hundreds of thousands of families participating in community service and action. Yet it is essential that we fully recognize that what we do in our family networks can lead to other activist actions, and this is even more possible when we have in mind what those other actions look like.

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Medium 9781574413335

SECRET 1: READ POSITIVE STORIES

Kalena Cook, Margaret Christensen University of North Texas Press ePub

SECRET 1:
Read Positive Stories

The women you’ll meet in this book, over fifty varied professionals, moms, executives, teachers, and even physicians—from Anglo, Black or African American,Hispanic, and Native American to Asian cultures—chose natural birth. Why did they make that choice in this day of epidurals, inductions, and cesareans? Along with sharing what birth is like, these moms reveal key safety benefits you need to know for you and your baby.

Why Women Choose Natural Birt

After tabulating the results from several years of more than fifty revealing one-on-one interviews, four main influences emerged for why healthy women wanted natural birth.

1. Exposure to first-hand intimate stories,

2. Getting informed about labor,

3. Dislike of a medical environment or experience,

4. Faith in one’s own ability for the normal process of childbirth.

Exposure to First-hand Intimate Stories

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Medium 9781576755846

10 Choosing War

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“I was raised,” Yusuf began, “in a village of rock-walled homes in the hills on the western edge of Jerusalem. The village, called Deir Yassin, had been my family’s home for at least two centuries. But that all ended early on the morning of April 9, 1948, at the height of the Arab-Jewish fighting surrounding the establishment of Israel. I was just five years old at the time. I remember being awakened by shouting and gunfire. Our village was being attacked by what I later learned were members of a Jewish underground military group. My father grabbed me from bed and thrust me and my two sisters into my parents’ room. He then pulled a rifle from under his mattress and, pulling on his boots, ran out of the house. ‘Stay inside!’ he yelled to us. ‘Don’t come out for anyone, you hear? Until I return, God willing.’

“Those were the last words I ever heard my father speak. When it was over and we left the protection of our stone walls, bodies and exploded body parts littered the streets. My father was among the dead.”

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4. Favorite Foods

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

at the University of Rochester. Even on winter days, the roads and bikeways were often clear and dry enough to ride the three-mile path along the Genesee River all the way to my graduate classes downtown. When the roads were wet or covered with snow, I rode the university’s big blue shuttle bus.

Each day when I got home from school, I opened the door and wheeled the bicycle inside to park it at the bottom of the stairwell. Sam leaned out over the safety gate and looked down at me with a beaming smile. “Mom’s home!” he would exclaim.

“Mom’s home!” Mark would always echo from somewhere else upstairs.

The first time Sam did that, I realized that I had waited a long time for such an expression of love from him. Then I realized I didn’t even know I was waiting for it. The details of the moment flooded my senses: the glow of sunlight oozing from behind him on the landing, the reverberation of his voice in the stairwell, the sparkle of his toothy smile. His affection tumbled down the stairs and welled up in my eyes.

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Chapter 9: Hippotherapy—with profile of Cory

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Nine

Hippotherapy—with Profile of Cory

As stated earlier, Hippotherapy provides medical treatment, the objective being specifically the improvement of neuromotor function, with no riding skills taught. A session, always with only one client, requires a therapist (physical, occupational, speech pathologist, or assistant, who is also trained to administer hippotherapy), a leader, and one or two sidewalkers.

Support is given according to individual need, which may be minimal, or the maximum, where volunteers actually hold the rider upright, sometimes using a wide belt with handles.

The preferred tack is a bareback pad or anti-cast (wide, heavy leather surcingle, with a half-moon handle for the rider to hold) over a pad.

This helps the rider feel and absorb more warmth and motion from the horse than he would from a saddle of heavy leather. A saddle is used if additional support is needed, or for the client to progress to standing up in the stirrups.

Objects are sometimes utilized to facilitate stretching, better posture, etc. A rider holds a baton in various positions, such as behind his back or over his head; a child takes large rings from a sidewalker, held as directed by the therapist so the client must stretch sideways, backward or up to reach them.1

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Chapter Four: Check your privilege (and your ego)

Jana, Tiffany; Freeman, Matthew Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

There would be no bias if there were no differences. You can’t overcome bias if you can’t acknowledge that other people see the world differently than you do. And in order to do that, you must recognize that your perspective is not the only one, and that you are highly unlikely to be right all the time. That means checking your ego, and also acknowledging your privilege. Unchecked bias can look like privilege, so it’s important to take the time to differentiate the two.

It doesn’t matter who you are: if you are reading this book, you are privileged in some way. Privilege, in this context, simply means an advantage available to one group that isn’t available to everyone. You, for example, can read. According to UNESCO, that alone puts you ahead of 10 to 20 percent of people over age 15 worldwide. Why the 10 percent disparity? If you are a man, you are more likely to be literate.

Generally speaking, privilege blinds you to the challenges that others face. Suffering through a challenge helps you build empathy for others in a similar situation. So, for example, if you or a loved one has suffered through a chronic illness, you’re more likely to identify with the pain of another in a similar situation. The privilege of relative health doesn’t make you a bad person, but it makes it harder (but not impossible!) to understand the daily complexities and challenges of navigating life with a chronic condition. And so it is with identity-based privilege. If you’ve never feared being mistreated by the police because of the color of your skin, it can be challenging to fully understand the constant fear that haunts many people of color in their interactions with law enforcement. If we are to build authentic relationships across difference, we must do the hard work of recognizing our privilege so we can navigate the resulting blind spots more thoughtfully. The starting point is, once again, self-awareness.

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