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5. whose body is it anyway?

Jenny Stoker Karnac Books ePub

The toddler years are characterized by a huge shift in the child’s relationship to his body, accompanied by much physical activity and exploration. We have seen in chapter 1 how the very young toddler can become utterly absorbed and fascinated by what he can achieve physically. He is propelled by curiosity about both his own and others’ bodies, watching, touching, smelling, and tasting. Such exploration allows him to develop a sense of his own body’s coherence and autonomy, integral to his growing sense of his own identity.

An important part of this development is his capacity to experience sensual feelings. As a baby, his early feeds and general caretaking will have been accompanied by sensations of intensely pleasurable physical satisfaction. To begin with, he will not have been able to identify the distinction between his own and his mother’s body as die source of satisfaction, but as time goes on he will associate those pleasurable sensations with die presence of someone caring for him. As he becomes more physically competent, he will start to explore both her body as well as his own, and in his own body he will find areas and activities that will give him intense pleasure. Sometimes these activities will be recreating the pleasurable sensations he had experienced when being cared for by mother, such as fondling his own hair or stroking his earlobe gently or sucking his thumb, for example, but others are ones he discovers on his own. He may have enjoyed genital sensations during nappy changes and may also touch and play with his genitals as part of his own exploration, finding die experience pleasurable. It is an important aspect of your toddler’s developing sense of pride and confidence that he discovers that his body can be a source of pleasure. He is learning what is his and what is yours. It is good that he can begin to learn that what-is-his and what what-is-his does can be sources of pleasure and that he can derive pride and confidence both from his body and from its functions.

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Suggested Further Reading

Donna S. Davenport University of North Texas Press PDF

Suggested Further Reading

Grief—Overview

Coping with Loss—Nolen-Hoeksema, S. & Davis, C.G. (1999) Mahwah,

NJ: Erlbaum.

How To Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies—Therese Rando(1991)

NY: Doubleday.

I Can’t Stop Crying—John Martin & Frank Ferris (1992) CT: Firefly

Books.

Making Loss Matter—Rabbi David Wolpe (2000) NJ: Penguin Putnam.

Meaning Reconstruction and the Experience of Loss—Robert Neimeyer, ed. (2001) Washington D.C.: APA Press

Mending the Torn Fabric—Brabant, Sarah (1996) Amityville, NY:

Baywood.

No Time for Good-byes—Janice Lord (2000) CA: Pathfinder.

Parting Company—Cynthia Pearson and Margaret Stubbs (1999) WA:

Seal Press.

A Path Through Loss—Nancy Reeves(2001) Canada: Northstone.

Roses in December—Marilyn Heavlin (1998) OR: Harvest House.

Understanding Grief—Alan Wolfelt (1992) NY: Taylor & Francis.

Self-Help—Midilife Loss of Parent

African-American Daughters and Elderly Mothers—Sharon Smith(1998)

CT: Garland.

Coping When a Parent Dies—Janet Grosshandler-Smith (1995) NY:

Rosen.

Fading Away—Betty Davies, Joanne Reimer, Pamela Brown, & Nola

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Medium 9781855751484

CHAPTER ONE. Introduction

Margaret Robinson Karnac Books ePub

There are two reasons for writing a book on the family transition of divorce at this time. Firstly, the original proposals in the mid-1960s to change the divorce law led to often fierce public debates, which were mirrored—but also provoked—by the media and which revealed oppositional and hitherto often privately held beliefs about marriage and the family.

It is surely significant of the need for change that the measures in the Law Commission’s original proposals for the reform of the divorce law, laid before Parliament in 1965, led to more general demands for some reform, and these have built up over the last 30 years. There has been considerable concern, on the one hand, because we have the highest divorce rate in Europe, and, on the other, because of the cost of legal aid (332 million in 1995), through which some 72.5% of petitioners in 1994/5 were able to claim legal advice and assistance. The Family Law Bill when proposed as legislation by the Lord Chancellor led to intensive political debate both inside and outside Parliament, often of an unprecedented form. Largely as the result of a campaign in one of the tabloids, the proposed Family Homes and Domestic Violence Bill was abandoned in 1995; the Bill has now been included in a slightly amended form in the new Act (as Part III). So the stakeholders in the current preoccupations are not only the families involved, the politicians, and the media; there are also the legal profession, the Lord Chancellor’s Department, and, of course, the Treasury, the Legal Aid Board, as well as those caregiving professions such as health and social services whose task could be said to be to attempt to pick up the pieces of the fallout during and following separation and divorce. During the debates in the House of Commons, the vote was supposed to be one of individual conscience, and many ministers voted against the government even in the teeth of the impending general election; there was, however, tabloid-press pillorying of those MPs who voted one way but seemed in their private lives to live another. There were also apparently surprising cross-party alignments during the debates, in one of which, in the House of Lords, the Government was somewhat unexpectedly defeated. This involved an amendment, which was carried, to give the wife, on divorce, a share in her former husband’s pension, and ways of achieving this are currently being explored. At the final and third reading of the bill in June 1996, the Family Law Act was eventually passed.

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photo gallery

Donna S. Davenport University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781576752456

CHAPTER 11: An Hour a Day (Could Keep the Doctor Away)

John de Graaf Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

While doing research for the film, Running Out of Time, I visited the Meyer Friedman Clinic in San Francisco where the term, “Type A,” was coined. I interviewed Dr. Friedman, himself, and an associate, Dr. Bart Sparagon, who now directs the clinic. In their view, the number one cause of premature heart disease in the United States was what they called “time urgency”—a continual sense of time pressure that has become more and more common in our overworked, over-scheduled society. Though not all doctors agree with this theory, there is little doubt that time pressure has a serious impact on Americans’ health. In their recent book, Joined At the Heart, Al and Tipper Gore suggest that burnout and stress caused by overwork cost the U.S. economy as much as $344 billion a year. Since we launched Take Back Your Time Day, I’ve received many e-mails from doctors who all agree that overwork is a serious health problem. One of them was from Suzanne Schweikert, an obstetrician in San Diego, who is also doing research in public health. She sent along her reasons for concern. —JdG

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Medium 9781574412444

4. Favorite Foods

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

at the University of Rochester. Even on winter days, the roads and bikeways were often clear and dry enough to ride the three-mile path along the Genesee River all the way to my graduate classes downtown. When the roads were wet or covered with snow, I rode the university’s big blue shuttle bus.

Each day when I got home from school, I opened the door and wheeled the bicycle inside to park it at the bottom of the stairwell. Sam leaned out over the safety gate and looked down at me with a beaming smile. “Mom’s home!” he would exclaim.

“Mom’s home!” Mark would always echo from somewhere else upstairs.

The first time Sam did that, I realized that I had waited a long time for such an expression of love from him. Then I realized I didn’t even know I was waiting for it. The details of the moment flooded my senses: the glow of sunlight oozing from behind him on the landing, the reverberation of his voice in the stairwell, the sparkle of his toothy smile. His affection tumbled down the stairs and welled up in my eyes.

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3. Other Holidays

Peggy Heinkel-Wolfe University of North Texas Press PDF

“Hey, you’ve got to see this. It’s about autism, and it’s in

Syracuse,” Mark said. A news anchor had announced the next story segment coming up on 20/20, ABC’s television news magazine.

I pushed back from the computer and rubbed my eyes as

I walked into the living room. Mark wasn’t sitting in the platform rocker. He was standing a few feet in front of the television set, his arms in front of his chest and holding his chin in his hands.

The program featured an education professor doing innovative, but controversial, work with children and young adults with autism. His clients couldn’t speak at all. Some of them barely had control over their arms and legs, let alone the dozens of tiny facial muscles that must be harnessed in order to speak. But when adults sat next to them and helped them keep their typing hands steady, they typed whatever they had to say.

They had smart, sophisticated ideas. Autism appeared to trap those ideas in their brains, an effect similar to cerebral palsy and other developmental disabilities that compromise muscle control.

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 21: Tracy—Multiple Sclerosis

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Twenty-One

Tracy—Multiple Sclerosis

“If I miss my ride, the next week I walk into the arena using my cane. When I finish riding and dismount, I walk away and forget the cane. I don’t need it anymore,” Tracy Roberson said, reaching down to pat her horse’s neck. “It’s completely amazing.”

After agreeing to tell me her story later, she said “Walk on,” and from only the pressure of her legs squeezing his sides, her big buckskin mount began walking, then trotting in a figure eight, with no signal at all from the reins.

Ten years earlier, Tracy got out of bed one morning and fell flat on her face. She pulled herself up, sat on the bed a minute, then stood.

Again, she fell flat on her face.

Lying on the floor she wondered, did I take something last night to possibly cause this—aspirin maybe? No, that was not the case.

The twenty-seven-year-old hadn’t been feeling well for quite a while before this happened. “I was tired all the time but thought it must be just the lazy housewife syndrome.” She recalled she didn’t want to make the beds, do laundry, dishes, or get her child’s clothes ready.

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Sunset

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Sunset

But even as Ben rallied, the stress on the family was taking a toll.

July of 1991, Sue and I entered family counseling, trying to save our twenty-four-year marriage. As summer blended into fall, our relationship continued to unravel.

July 23, 1991. Sue and I met with Russ Dunckley, Ph.D., a family

therapist, to discuss some issues in our relationship. Sue and I had struggled repeatedly with my sexual orientation, beginning before we were married. She knew I was gay—my affair with Joel was no secret— but marriage was supposed to keep me on the straight and narrow.

An unlikely expectation, from a twenty-first century perspective, but one that we held on to in spite of all evidence to the contrary.

By late summer of 1991, I was losing control. Beneath the fortress of our marriage, tectonic plates were shifting. I dreamed about a small city in Iowa, like Iowa City, where Sue and I had lived during our first three years together. In my dream, a building collapsed, burying hundreds. Then the top half of a glass-and-steel tower imploded.

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CHAPTER 15: On Time, Happiness, and Ecological Footprints

John de Graaf Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Common sense ought to make clear that our rush, rush lifestyle leads us to use throwaway products, recycle less, and, in general, pay less attention to the impacts of our consumer practices on the environment. Nonetheless, data confirming this is hard to come by. Considering the importance of these issues, remarkably few studies explore the connections between time pressure and overwork with environmental behaviors. Psychologists Tim Kasser and Kirk Warren Brown recently conducted one such study and their findings are outlined in this chapter. Although preliminary, their data tend to confirm what we already suspect. Both our environment and our far-too-frantic lives call out for more studies like this one and for a national commitment to act on the information they provide. It’s my hope that Take Back Your Time Day can be the catalyst for far more research on the social and ecological impacts of our American obsession with work and consumption. —JdG

As suggested elsewhere in this book, Americans today are working and consuming more than ever. Are they doing so to the detriment of their health, their happiness, society’s cohesion, and the sustainability of our ecology? We hope to contribute to the answer to that question by presenting new scientific evidence, which demonstrates that the amount of time people work does indeed108 have important associations with both their personal well-being and their impact on the Earth’s natural resources.

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Medium 9781855753693

CHAPTER TWELVE. The bodies of present-day maternity

Alcira Mariam Alizade Karnac Books ePub

Leticia Glocer Fiorini

Introduction

When we discuss motherhood in the twenty-first century we must take into consideration the ramifications of creating life in a non-conventional way. This in turn leads us to reflect on the vertiginous progress of bio-technology as an expression of present-day culture. Psychoanalysis is being challenged on its very frontiers. We need to consider the full implications and limits of these technologies, as well as their impact on analysts and patients. This puts the psychoanalytic method to the test.

The objective is to delimit the new relationships between technology the human body and subjectivity; to investigate the impact of these new reproductive techniques on body representations, on traditional representations of the female body, of sexuality, of motherhood, and on the role of men and women in procreation.

The effects will depend on the particular features of each case and the specific characteristics of the techniques used. I emphasize the differences that exist between the simplest techniques, involving both members of a heterosexual couple, and the most complex ones, in which several bodies participate (gamete donor, surrogate womb, nursing mother). We must now add cloning, already established in the social imaginary and getting closer to becoming a reality.

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Photos

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF
Medium 9781576755846

20 Finding Outward Peace

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Connecticut?” Lou asked in interest, as it was his home. “And tear gas?”

“Yes,” Yusuf answered. He looked contemplatively at the group for a moment. “Avi shared his story of coming to the States. Perhaps it is time I shared mine as well.

“As you’ll recall from yesterday, I ended up in Bethlehem when Jordan annexed the West Bank. I began my hustling of Westerners and, as it turns out, my lessons in English when I was about eight. That would have been around 1951. Unlike Avi, I didn’t have any friends from across the ethnic divide, which probably wouldn’t surprise you given my antipathy toward Mordechai Lavon. In fact, I spent most of my teenage years dreaming of revenge for the murder of my father. This desire had fertile ground in which to grow, as a kind of nationalistic fever started to burn among the Palestinian people beginning in the fifties and continuing into the sixties.

“In 1957, at the age of fourteen, I joined a youth movement known as the Young Lions for Freedom. This group was an informal offshoot of student unions of Palestinians that began emerging in the region’s universities in the 1950s. The younger brothers of these students, longing to attach themselves to the causes of their elders, hatched mirror organizations among their neighborhood clans. Ours was such an organization, patterned after the foremost of the student unions, which was located at Cairo University and headed by an engineering student named Yasir Arafat.”

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Medium 9781574411904

Chapter 13: Starting a New NARHA Center

Naomi Scott University of North Texas Press PDF

Chapter Thirteen

Starting a New NARHA Center

Therapeutic horseback riding has enjoyed tremendous growth since the first program was established in North America in 1969. In just over three decades, the numbers jumped to more than 800 NARHA centers, serving more than 42,000 clients annually.1 With demand outgrowing supply, a lot of programs have a waiting list of up to a year and a half. In some situations, this could be partially remedied with more volunteers and more instructors. But too many areas have no center at all within reasonable driving distance. The number of centers may sound impressive, but when you factor in all fifty states and Canada, the centers are spread thin. Many are small facilities, which can accommodate only a few riders.

NARHA has stated, “There is a growing demand for therapeutic riding services. At many centers, individuals must be placed on a waiting list until space is available during a riding session.” NARHA offers educational and networking assistance for individuals interested in starting up a therapeutic riding center.2 For anyone desiring to start a new program, the first step would be to contact NARHA.

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Quirky Ben

Dan E. Burns University of North Texas Press PDF

Quirky Ben

August 1987. Carrollton, Texas

“Do you think the hospital would take him back?” I asked Sue in mock exasperation.

“We could leave him on the steps,” she kidded. We both laughed and welcomed the comic relief. After two days of Ben at home we were exhausted. He screamed. Before feeding, after feeding, while his diaper was changed, bedtime to witching hour, Ben screeched like a madman howling through a megaphone. Twenty minutes of sleep, more screeching, another short nap if we were lucky, then back to the megaphone. Our other two kids hadn’t been like this.

But Ben wasn’t like our other kids; no, not from hour zero. First, his head was gigantic, above the 98th percentile, off the charts, sticking out of his mom’s birth canal then out of the papoose wrapper like a preposterous Tootsie Roll Pop. I held my newborn son while the doctor sewed up Sue. Big head, I thought, good. With all that space for brains, he’ll be a genius. But as the medics wheeled him down the hall, he screeched woefully, painfully.

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