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Menu 16. STATE FAIR FARE

Brian L. Patton New World Library ePub

M

E

N

U

16

M

an,

do

I

hate

the

fair.

Always

have.

Even

before

I

was

clued

in

on

animal

suffer-

ing

and

vegan

stuff,

I

still

avoided

the

fair

like

the

plague.

My

friends

would

always

be

like,

“Hey,

let’s

go

to

the

fair!”

And

I’d

be

like,

“Let

me

get

this

straight:

You

want

me

to

walk

around

all

day

in

some

filthy,

stinky

farmland

and

throw

some

balls

and

rings

at

stuff,

so

I

can

win

shitty,

useless

prizes

that

I

have

to

carry

around

all

day

and

will

end

up

throwing

away

when

I

get

home?

And

then

I’m

going

to

eat

so

much

sausage,

hot

dogs,

and

funnel

cake

which,

at

first,

I’ll

enjoy

until

I

have

to

take

three

separate

dumps

in

Porta-Johns,

before

we

spend

an

hour

finding

our

car

and

another

hour

getting

out

of

the

park-

ing

lot?

That’s

how

you’ll

have

me

spending

my

Saturday?

I

don’t

even

care

if

Warrant

is

opening

for

Stryper!

No,

thank

you!”

Just

because

I

hate

the

fair,

though,

doesn’t

mean

I

hate

the

food.

I

love

the

food.

And

corn

dogs

are

at

the

top

of

the

list.

P.S.

Wow!

I

just

went

and

watched

a

Stryper

video,

and

I

recommend

you

do

the

same.

You

will

not

be

disappointed.

L

I

B

A

T

I

O

N

R

E

C

O

M

M

E

N

D

A

T

I

O

N

Since

we’re

dealing

with

some

extremely,

ahem,

casual

food

here,

I’d

pair

it

with

a

Starburst

(see

recipe,

page 201)

.

.

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Chapter 3: Sweet Breads

Rockridge Press Rockridge Press ePub

3

Great banana bread is a valuable staple recipe because it can be a perfect gift, a satisfying snack, and an energy-packed way to start the day. Bananas contain potassium, which can help regulate blood pressure and help muscles to contract properly without cramping up. The warm spices in this recipe also have health benefits such as regulating healthy glucose levels in the blood and lowering blood pressure.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. In a large bowl, sift together the flours, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices.

3. In a small bowl, whisk together the eggs, maple syrup, coconut oil, and vanilla until well combined. Whisk the banana and shredded coconut into the wet ingredients.

4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir together until just combined. Do not overmix the batter or the bread will be too dense.

5. Lightly grease a 9 x 5-inch loaf pan and dust it with the almond flour.

6. Spoon the batter in the loaf pan, and bake for about 55 minutes, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

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Menu 14. LITTLE TOKYO

Brian L. Patton New World Library ePub

129

LITTLE TOKYO

U-NO-gi Nigiri with Kabayaki Sauce

1 tablespoon low-sodium tamari, plus more for serving

2 teaspoons maple syrup

2 drops liquid smoke (see WTF below)

3 teaspoons canola oil

2 portobello mushrooms, stemmed

1 teaspoon sesame oil

2 cups cooked sushi rice (recipe follows)

1 or 2 sheets nori, cut into sixteen 4-inch-by-½-inch strips

¼ cup store-bought kabayaki sauce or Sexy Kabayaki Sauce (recipe follows,

page 132)

Sesame seeds, for garnish

Wasabi paste, for serving

In

a

large

bowl,

whisk

together

1

tablespoon

tamari,

the

maple

syrup,

liquid

smoke,

and

1

teaspoon

of

the

canola

oil,

then

add

the

mushrooms

and

toss

to

coat.

In

a

medium

skillet,

heat

the

remain-

ing

2

teaspoons

canola

oil

over

medium

heat.

Place

the

mush-

rooms,

gill

side

up,

in

the

pan,

and

sear

for

3

to

4

minutes,

or

until

browned.

Flip

the

mushrooms,

and

drizzle

the

sesame

oil

over

the

tops.

Cook

for

3

to

4

more

minutes,

until

the

mushrooms

are

cooked

all

the

way

through.

Let

cool.

While

the

mushrooms

are

cooling,

take

a

little

bit

of

the

sushi

rice

and

form

it

into

an

oblong

ball

about

the

size

of

a

thumb.

Make

16

of

these.

When

the

mushrooms

are

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Menu 17. GLENNTIL TAMALE BITES

Brian L. Patton New World Library ePub

M

E

N

U

17

I

have

a

friend.

His

name

is

Glenn.

A

few

years

back,

my

friends

and

I

went

on

a

camp-

ing

trip

to

Montana,

and

on

this

trip

some-

one

came

up

with

the

bright

idea

of

working

the

name

Glenn

into

famous

people’s

names

and

other

words.

It

just

worked

too

well:

Glen-

nifer

Aniston,

Jimmy

Glenndrix,

Glennard

Nimoy,

Harry

and

the

Glenndersons,

Glenntil

Soup,

and,

my

personal

favorite,

Glennjaglenn

Frankglenn.

Years

later,

and

we’re

still

coming

up

with

new

ones.

So

the

great

Crandall,

my

former

cam-

eraman

and

contributor

of

the

epic

belch

you

hear

at

the

end

of

each

Sexy

Vegan

episode,

developed

a

website

as

a

way

to

collect

the

terms

that

we

came

up

with.

If

you

have

a

friend

named

Glenn,

go

to

UrGlenndictionary.com

for

a

good

start

on

Glennded

terms.

You

can

even

submit

your

own.

If

you

don’t

have

a

friend

named

Glenn,

go

find

one

it’ll

be

worth

it.

Anyway,

I

really

love

tamales,

but

they

are

rather

laborious,

and

not

fit

for

a

happy

hour

situ-

ation.

As

douchey

as

I

feel

saying

it,

these

would

be

more

like

(gulp)

“deconstructed”

tamales.

Blech

.

.

.

now

I

have

to

go

wash

my

mouth

out.

L

I

B

A

T

I

O

N

R

E

C

O

M

M

E

N

D

A

T

I

O

N

A

Bloody

Vulcan

(see

recipe,

page 193)

is

per-

fect

for

this

menu,

since

you’ve

already

got

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Cali & Southwest Colombia

Planet, Lonely Lonely Planet Publications ePub

Out of the way and with a reputation for security problems, southwest Colombia is often overlooked by travelers, but this fascinating region warrants an appearance on all itineraries. It's an authentic land of contrasts: Andean and African, modern and pre-Columbian. It stimulates the senses at every opportunity and leaves intrepid visitors with countless tales of classic travel experiences.

Security has improved markedly and destinations that were once off-limits are being put back on the map by adventurous trailblazers. Here you will find the best archaeological sites in the country and some of its finest colonial architecture. It's a region of immense biodiversity where you can pass through desert, jungle and páramo (high-mountain plain) ecosystems in just one day. Nature lovers will find active volcanoes, thermal springs and spectacular mountain ranges all easily accessible from thriving metropolitan centers famed for their vibrant culture.

AAug Afro-Colombian rhythms take over Cali during the Festival Petronio Álvarez.

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