918 Chapters
Medium 9781576752302

Choice 20: The Power of Silence

Manz, Charles C. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Speech is silver, silence is golden.

—French Proverb91166

One of life’s interesting ironies is that silence, often associated with passivity, is such a potent force. Silence can help us become centered, calm, introspective, and perhaps even wise. And silence can often get our point across much more effectively than the most persuasive argument.

First, consider how important silence is for learning. When we speak, it is difficult to learn more than what we already know. But when we silently listen to what others have to say, whole new worlds are available to us. We can begin to understand things from the perspectives of others, and we can have access to what they know that we don’t. As we listen to the concerns and opinions of others, we are freed, for a time, from worrying about our own self-focused problems and we can learn a bit about what it would be like to be in someone else’s circumstances. Silently listening holds the key to a fuller, more informed, and empathetic experience of life.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781576755594

12. Helping Others and the World

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

I get up every morning determined both
to change the world and to have one
hell of a good time. Sometimes, this
makes planning the day difficult
.

E. B. WHITE

* STEP BACK TO EXPLORE Resisting the fact that you can make a difference.

* LET GO of believing you don’t have what it takes.

* SAY YES! to changing the world.

* BREAKTHROUGH “I help others and the world.”

* Laurie: I suppose you could call my professional experience of several years ago a “crisis,” but truthfully, I’ve been through such personal traumas that I don’t use the word lightly. I’m a mother of two, Luke (16 years old now) and Dylan (14), who are the loves of my life, along with my husband, Grayle. Luke is a surviving twin, and we lost our son Jason at 6 days old. That was a true medical and personal crisis, and it was unspeakably painful. My newborn babies were terribly ill, and Luke survived with significant special needs. After that experience, everything pales in comparison. This life experience, of losing Jason, and now having two precious children—one of whom has extensive special needs—has given me so much that is a blessing, and I’ve received real perspective from it.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781605094113

3 Clarify Your Values

Tracy, Brian Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

One Universe made up of all that is; and one God in it all, and one principle of Being, and one Law, the Reason, shared by all thinking creatures, and one Truth.

MARCUS AURELIUS

One of the most important characteristics of leaders, and of the most successful people in every area of life, is that they know who they are, what they believe in, and what they stand for. Most people are confused about their goals, values, and ideals, and as a result, they go back and forth and accomplish very little. Men and women who become leaders, on the other hand, with the same or even fewer abilities and opportunities, go on to great accomplishments in whatever they attempt.

Life is lived from the inside out. The very core of your personality is your values. Your values are what make you the person you are. Everything you do on the outside is dictated and determined by your values on the inside, whether clear or fuzzy. The greater clarity you have regarding your values on the inside, the more precise and effective will be your actions on the outside.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781609948252

Four: How to Choose a Spouse in an Hour

Miglani, Bob Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

You can adapt to anything—you just don’t
know it yet.

We’re standing there, feet held firmly together, inches away from the water, waiting to jump. So often in life we feel as though we’re about to move forward, but something holds us back. It is our own mind. We are afraid of not being able to handle the unpredictable events that may result from a change or a decision we’re about to make. Starting a new job, a new relationship, or a new business can seem overwhelming, especially when we’ve never done it before. Our overly analytical mind tries to protect us by reminding us that we don’t have enough information to proceed, that we’re not smart enough, that we’re not good enough, that we lack something. We may worry that the person we’re about to start a relationship with isn’t the right one, or we may wonder whether quitting our job will make us really happy. How do we know?

So we worry and think on it some more. We find ourselves getting nervous, anxious, and stressed about jumping in. And that anxiety becomes a vicious cycle, whittling away the time available to pursue our dreams of starting a new relationship, a new business, or a new career; of making a sales call; of pitching a new idea at work; of rebuilding a relationship or starting a fresh life in another place.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781609949327

Chapter 5 Connect—Who’s There for You?

Leider, Richard J.; Webber, Alan M. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Throughout life, community is important. In this new phase of life creating a sense of community is essential. It’s the expression of connection.

It’s so self-evident that most of the time we take it for granted: humans are social animals. It’s in our DNA—literally. We’ve survived and evolved because of our innate capacity and need to connect with our fellow human beings. We’re not meant to live solitary lives. Talking, listening, touching, and relating are hardwired into what it means to be human. Connecting creates a sense of well-being for all of us in every phase of life. We need to depend on one another for all kinds of things, from specific lessons that teach us how to do something better to more general emotional support in dealing with the triggers that are always a part of life.

But here’s what happens to community and connections over time: they tend to fray. Think about it.

In the early phases of adulthood, we often make connections and form communities around two spheres: family and work. It’s a common experience for many people who have children: the children become the reason for community and connections. The friends you make, the associations you join, the school games or performances you attend, all derive from your children and their interests and development. That’s a powerful connection, one that brings people together around a shared commitment to their families. Your friends are the parents of your children’s friends.

See All Chapters

See All Chapters