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2 How Resilient Are You?

Siebert, Al Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

My thirty years of self-funded research to understand highly resilient survivors once got me a free lunch. The invitation came from Carol Angel, a certified public accountant (CPA) who specialized in small businesses. Carol said she had attended a leadership workshop I conducted for her state CPA society a few years before on the nature of life’s best survivors. “This lunch is my way of thanking you,” she said, “for making my business so successful.”

“Thank you,” I said, “but how did I do that?”

She explained. “After hearing you speak I decided I would only accept clients who matched your description of the survivor personality. Whenever someone with a small business asks me to become their accountant, I tell them I want to become acquainted with them first. Mixed in with many questions about their business and business experience, I ask questions from your list. I accept as clients only the ones who match your description—about one out of three.”

Smiling broadly, she said, “You probably know that the survival rate for people starting small businesses is low. But most of my clients succeed. I don’t have the same problems that most CPAs do with clients going through bankruptcy, owing back taxes, missing payrolls, having liens against their assets, and being hounded by collection agencies. Thank you very, very much!”

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8. What is my unique contribution to the whole?

Wheatley, Margaret J. Berrett-Koehler Publishers PDF

What is my unique contribution to the whole?

Most cultural traditions have a story to explain why human life is so hard, why there is so much suffering on earth. The story is always the same—at some point early in our human origin, we forgot that we were all connected. We broke apart, we separated from each other.

We even fragmented inside ourselves, disconnecting heart from head from spirit. These stories always teach that healing will only be found when we remember our initial unity and reconnect the fragments.

If fragmentation and separation are the problem, how is it possible that our uniqueness could bring us back together? It seems that everywhere we use diversity to further separate from one another. We are organizing against each other, using ethnicity, gender, tightly-bound identities.

Even when we aren’t warring with each other, we increasingly define ourselves by labels. We stick labels on ourselves, we ask others what theirs are. ( Are you a Leo? An ENTJ? An A type personality? A theory

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Appendix B Live-Withs

Ray, Michael Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

SOMETIMES WHEN I give people live-withs, I just give them the title without any instructions. They relate to the admonition with a sense of discovery based on what they know and need. They then create their own way of practicing the live-with. In many ways the results from this no-instruction approach are more profound because people are more resourceful and creative.

So below find a list of live-withs that you can use in this way, perhaps on the basis of the challenge it represents, or a need you have or maybe just because you like the sound of it. You’ll see some that are already in this book, so you can get instructions for those. But in most cases, you’re on your own.

To Develop Faith in Your Own Inner Resources

Have No Expectations

I Don’t Know

If at First You Don’t Succeed, Surrender

Let Go

To Diminish Your Inner Voice of Judgment (VOJ)

Psych Out the VOJ

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3: An End to Self-Sabotage

Levesque, Paul Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

No one can defeat us unless we first defeat ourselves.

—DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

It’s time to answer an important question and settle the matter once and for all: The proverbial glass of water bearing precisely 50 percent of its total capacity: is the darn thing half full or half empty?

We need a nonequivocal answer, a conclusive answer that we can grasp and embrace from now on and forever more, because the answer to this simple question is at the very root of dreamcrafting.

Two people are sitting facing each other across a small table. A third person approaches and deposits a card between them. The card has something printed on it.

“How many words appear on this card?” the third person asks.

“Just one,” the first person says.

“Can you read it?”

“Yes.”

“Is what’s written on this card true?”

“Yes it is,” the first person answers.

The third person turns to the second. “How many words do you say appear on this card?”

“Only one.”

“Can you read it, without turning it or moving it in any way?”

“Yes.”

“Is what this card says true?”

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Chapter 1: Get in the Boat

Morsch, Gary Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

11

Be compassionate. And take responsibility for each other. If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much better a place.

Morrie Schwartz1


I saw the same images you did: rooftops barely exposed above water, bodies floating in rivers, the Superdome overrun with people and trash, the crush of humanity trying to escape the floods and the shelters. Looters, soldiers, politicians, residents, and journalists reaching their boiling points, often on television.

When I got to New Orleans a few days after Hurricane Katrina blew through in September 2005, telephone poles looked like mangled fingers from an underground monster. Tops of trees were shorn off. Steel beams from unfinished structures bent as if they were still resisting the wind.

I was in an RV with some relief workers, trying to find out where shipments of medicine and mobile medical clinics needed to go. The few other vehicles on the road were either emergency or military, all heavily armed. The only real traffic was in the sky. Hundreds of helicopters ratcheted overhead. There was no electricity. There were no inhabitants. It felt like the end of the world.

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