1041 Chapters
Medium 9781609948917

5 Genuine Emotion Is Not the Pit

Hawkins, Terry Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

As I said earlier — and I can’t stress this too much — Pit behaviors and reactions do not include healthy emotions, such as grief, sadness, shock, respectful anger, or frustration. As we all know, life can throw us many curveballs, and we humans are designed to deal with the stress of life through feeling and expressing our emotional responses to these events. Crying, for example, is such a healing act; it allows our body to release the sadness we are holding. I cringe when I hear parents tell their children (especially their young boys) to stop crying when they are sad. I admire anybody who can be brave and strong enough to be in their vulnerability and allow the emotions to rise and be expressed. Strength is not the ability to not cry; it’s the ability to cry, to laugh, to be scared, to be brave, to communicate respectful anger and frustration — to feel and express those feelings.

Too often, we push these important emotions down because we become fearful of really experiencing and feeling them. We can start to believe that the pain in our chest is too much to bear, so we stop — we wait. But we are meant to feel. Our hearts are meant to be broken, but they never break in two — they just break open to allow us to love more and feel even more. However, getting to this understanding can be a real test — sometimes it can seem much easier just to push it all down and instead become bitter and resentful. When we do this, our Pit emotions come to the surface and we end up spraying our Pit Pollution onto everyone, with our Pitman behaviors and comments.

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Medium 9781523084586

Resources: So You Got the Memo. Now What?

Bryant, John Hope Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

One of the first steps to economic independence is financial literacy. Here is a list of financial education resources to help you “know what you don’t know” and to put what you know into action. And, of course, Operation HOPE is here to work with you every step of the way. Visit us online at www.operation hope.org.

Federally mandated free credit report:

www.annualcreditreport.com

FICO scores from all three credit bureaus (paid subscription):

www.myfico.com

Credit card reviews, ratings, and comparisons:

www.cardratings.com

Tools to create your own debt elimination plan:

powerpay.org/

Guidance on becoming debt-free:

www.wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-Debt

Guidance on choosing a credit card, filing for bankruptcy, and repairing your credit:

www.operationhope.org/credit-guidance

A starter retirement savings option from the US Department of the Treasury:

www.myra.gov

Kiplinger Retirement savings calculator:

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Medium 9781576750575

Chapter Four Right in Love

Shapiro, David A. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Our moral legacy will be distinguished primarily by the manner in which we have treated others. Most of our moral obligations—some would say all—are obligations to other people. Doing the right thing, therefore, is going to be mainly a matter of doing right by those we come in contact with on a regular basis: our friends, family members, loved ones, and colleagues.109

But what makes it difficult to consistently treat others as we ought to treat them is that, often, our interests conflict. We want one thing, they want something else; or we both want the same thing at the same time and there’s not enough to go around. Balancing these conflicting interests and coming up with mutually satisfying solutions requires a creative sensitivity that’s hard to achieve. Lots of times, we get so wrapped up in our own needs and desires that we’re unable to appreciate different perspectives—perspectives that may enable us to do a better job of fulfilling our interpersonal obligations.110

All of us know what it feels like to be treated right by someone else. And, unfortunately, we all know what it feels like to be done wrong, too. But at least this means that we all have the necessary experience to distinguish between the two. The challenge, of course, is to determine what choices will ensure that the people we interact with will have the former, not the latter experience. Our moral legacy, after all, is in their hands. Its shape will ultimately be defined by their reactions to our treatment of them.

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Medium 9781626569324

Chapter Eight: Imagining a world without the five thieves

Izzo, John B. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Throughout this book, we have discussed the role that the five thieves play, not only in our personal lives but in our community life as well, as humanity as a whole is an extension of each individual’s personal house. In my years of consulting with organizations, this has become apparent to me again and again. An organization is not an entity but rather the sum of its parts. A society does not exist in the truest sense because we cannot feel or touch it. What we call society is the web of interactions of many individuals that over time establishes a set of norms for how we act, but the source of those behavioral norms is the individuals within the society. Because of this, all societal or organizational change must begin as personal change.

Otto Scharmer at the MIT Sloan School of Management likes to quote a CEO he interviewed years ago, who said, “The quality of the initiative is in direct proportion to the inner life of the initiator.” This is another way of saying that the organization is an extension of the inner life of those who lead it. Of course, this is not always welcome news because we would prefer to blame society or the organization for whatever is not working, rather than look at the way our inner life might be changing the world around us.

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Medium 9781609948252

Embrace the Chaos Manifesto

Miglani, Bob Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

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