1317 Slices
  Title Author Publisher Format Buy Remix
Medium 9781609948252

Nine: Learning to Catch the Bus

Miglani, Bob Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Waiting for perfection will get you nowhere.

There are many times in our lives when we suffer from the waiting problem. We wait for the perfect moment, the right time. We wait until there’s enough in the bank. We wait until the kids get older. We wait until retirement. We wait for the right circumstance, the right person, the right thing to say, the right job, or the right situation. We wait until things are the way we expect them to be, until things fit into our narrative of perfection. We wait for the time when we have full control.

But that time never comes, and we waste all those moments.

Waiting for perfection gets us nowhere, and it only breeds more worry, anxiety, and stress, because we are waiting for something that does not exist. There is no perfect job, no perfect partner, no perfect career, and no perfect moment. There are only people, jobs, and moments. And if we try to force our “ideal” situation on life, we’ll be waiting, stressed and worried, for a long time.

I found myself engaging in this kind of thinking one day as I attempted to do what Indian locals do—catch a bus.

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Medium 9781576754399

Chapter 2 The Trance of Scarcity: Our Sad Story

Castle, Victoria Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

I’m 55, and I want to feel alive.” Outwardly, Barbara was successful in every sense of the word, but secretly her life felt desolate. “I’ve done everything I know to do, but it feels like my energy just keeps getting siphoned off somehow. What do I have to do to finally be good enough?” With these words, she revealed that she was living outside the Circle on a full-time basis.

Barbara’s question seared me right to the bone. It’s a question that goes to the heart of the matter for a great many of us. What must we do to feel, at long last, that we’re enough as we are? Is it ever possible to feel a sense of true belonging, to resign from our careers of self-improvement? Or is our only option to join the Stoics of ancient Greece who believed that humans should be free of passion and accept all occurrences with indifference? Seems to me the last thing the world needs is more indifference!

Most of us have developed a Herculean tolerance for suffering. And we put up with far more of it than what is biologically wired into our nervous system, as part of our internal survival gear. Our survival instinct increases our awareness of stimulus, especially pain, alerting us to adjust to conditions as they occur. Pssst, feel that burning in your hand. Let go of the electric fence! But if we believe that no adjustment would help (if letting go of the fence is not an option), we keep turning down the volume on our sense of aliveness. If we believe our pain or difficulty to be inescapable, we numb out in desperation. Like Barbara, we may keep trying harder and harder to follow the wrong prescription, attempting to cure ourselves of being ourselves. And it’s all we know to do; we’ve spent years designing our entire life according to what we believe is real. Our belief in scarcity shows up in our bodies as a lack of aliveness, and in our lives as the experience of lack and limitation.24

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Medium 9781609940041

The Value of Pennies

Manz, Charles C. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money in the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.” (Mark 12: 41–44)

The issue of evaluating and responding to the contributions of others is a major challenge for leaders. It is usually considered effective leadership to distinguish levels of performance of followers and to dole out rewards according to the amount that is contributed. This approach seems to be rational, logical, and even just. But once again Jesus throws us a curve. The value of contributions, he seems to be saying, must be considered in light of the capabilities of the contributor.

Initially this may send up some red flags. Is the implication that we should not concern ourselves with the levels of our employees’ performance? If someone means well and is doing the best she can and her performance is unsatisfactory, should a leader simply pat her on the back and praise her for trying? While this practice may not be as illogical as it sounds, I don’t think it is the real leadership lesson that can be learned. Perhaps the lesson is best summarized by prescribing a focus on the heart of the person. That is, pay attention to the intent, the motives, and the progress of the person. This may indeed be very sound wisdom for a couple of reasons.

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Medium 9780971435223

The New World

Jed McKenna Wisefool Press PDF

I thought it would be no problem to settle in to such a beautifully appointed and technologically sophisticated room for a week or two and just watch movies and musical performances, but it got old in the first hour...........

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Medium 9781608680474

Part 3: Buddhism

Patricia Monaghan New World Library ePub

Buddhism evolved from the meditations of Siddhartha Gautama, a historical figure who experienced a spiritual transformation and became the Buddha — a title that means “awakened one,” a fully enlightened being — sometime between the sixth and fourth centuries BCE. Although there is little doubt that the Buddha actually lived, the details of his life were not recorded until nearly four hundred years after his death, during which time myths and legends grew about him.

Some Buddhist documents begin with the Buddha’s biography in his past lives, for Buddhism derives from Hinduism, with its belief in reincarnation. With many past lives behind him, during which he perfected himself through meditation, Gautama was born in what is now Nepal to Queen Maya and King Suddhodana in what is said to have been a painless birth, although Maya died shortly after giving birth. The child was named Siddhartha (“he who achieves his aims”), for at his naming ceremony seers predicted that he would become either a great king or a great saint.

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Medium 9781576755709

Chapter 1: Embracing New Rules of Conduct

Schuler, Michael Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

If life and love are to endure, if better health and greater happiness are to be obtained, and if the communities and ecologies that sustain us are to thrive, society will have to reappraise its values. More specifically, the principle of sustainability now needs to move to the forefront of our planning and problem solving.

What, then, would this entail? As I’ve already pointed out, most of the commentary on sustainability focuses on technical solutions—specific, scientifically determined measures meant to solve particular social, environmental, or economic problems. What have been missing are a few basic behavioral norms that can provide the initiated and uninitiated alike with the insight and proper incentive to accomplish some very important goals. What I recommend is the application at both the individual and collective level of four deceptively simple and straightforward rules of conduct, or “keys.” Their ultimate purpose is to ensure that the efforts we make to create the good life will produce the desired results. The rules are these:

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Medium 9781626563292

8 Give Yourself a Break: Take a Tech Sabbath

Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Erika Kosina

Dan Rollman recently noticed a disturbing trend in his social interactions: “I was starting to get more birthday wishes on my Facebook wall than phone calls and handwritten cards from family and friends.”

This inspired him to create the Sabbath Manifesto, which encourages people to enjoy time with loved ones, silence, the outdoors, and other pleasures they may remember from the time before the Internet took over every free moment.

“I just want to spark some dialogue about the pace of life and our relationship with technology,” he said.

Across the country, Americans are starting to think about how a constant stream of electronic communication affects the quality of our lives. Many of us are consciously unplugging every once in a while, and encouraging others to do the same.

Sal Bednarz made headlines in San Francisco when he asked customers in his café to turn off their laptops for a day. Bednarz first opened the Actual Café in his North Oakland neighborhood to increase social interaction among neighbors, but he found that the Internet got in the way.

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Medium 9780971435223

Carnivalesque

Jed McKenna Wisefool Press PDF

I was staying in a bed and breakfast in Connecticut when my newly acquired and much-despised disposable phone started chirping. It was Lisa, calling to let me know her dad Frank had passed away.......

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Medium 9781576755846

6 Escalation

The Arbiner Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

“Look around the room,” Avi invited once more. “Who would you want to gather with and talk to if we were to take a break? Go ahead,” he invited. “Look around.”

Gwyn glanced furtively at Ria and Carol. Miguel looked quickly at Lou, but then turned away when Lou turned to him. Lou looked inquiringly at Elizabeth, but she didn’t acknowledge him. She seemed not to want to be included in this pairing off.

“And what would you be likely to talk about with these people?” Avi asked.

There was a silence in the room, but eyes darted here and there, and it was clear to Avi that the group was responding silently to his question.

“Gwyn,” Avi said, interrupting the silence, “if I might be so bold as to ask, Who in the room would you most like to talk to, and what do you think your conversations might be about?”

“Oh, probably Ria, I’d say. And maybe Carol. And what would we talk about? About their husbands I’d imagine,” she answered, with a wry smile.

“And what about their husbands?” Avi asked.

“Whether they’re always so bigoted or only when they’re in public.”

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Medium 9780749472504

8. Work experience, job shadowing and work-based training

Holmes, Elizabeth Kogan Page ePub

Chapter Eight

Work experience, job shadowing and work-based training

This chapter looks at:

Work experience

Rather than offer help to organizations as you do when volunteering, work experience and job shadowing are purely for your own benefit. That said, many companies are keen to take on young people for work experience. You never know, if they like you and you like them there may be a job for you at the end of it!

Taking someone on for work experience or job shadowing does entail a fair amount of work on the part of the organization, so they do want to see quite a high level of commitment in return. Effective work experience programmes usually involve planned and supervised activities so that you can really get a taste of what it might be like to work in that company or industry.

You will almost certainly have done some work experience while at school. If this is the case, think back over your experiences. What did you learn? How did you learn? If you are yet to do work experience, think carefully about what you would like to do and where. Is this something you can arrange by yourself in your own spare time?

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Medium 9781605099224

Six The Earth Voice: Gut Instinct, Authority, and Grounding

McAfee, Barbara Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

 

 

Lower your voice and
strengthen your argument.

Lebanese Proverb

We convince by
our presence.

Walt Whitman

 

The following are examples of the earth voice. Can you hear them in your imagination?

The resonant growl of James Earl Jones’s voice slithers from behind the Darth Vader mask in Star Wars.

A Saint Bernard barks to guard his territory.

A group of Neanderthals discuss hunting strategy around the fire in a series of agitated grunts and gestures.

A mother bear warns an intruder away from her cubs.

An inebriated barrel-chested man sings as he carouses down a wintry street at three in the morning.

Johnny Cash kicks off “Ring of Fire” before a roaring crowd.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character in the movie The Terminator quips, “I’ll be back.”

The earth voice comes from your gut, grounding your words in your body. The deepest and darkest of the five voices, it vibrates in your torso as a groan, a growl, a yawn. Making the deep sounds of the earth voice requires you to relax, open your throat, and sense the pull of gravity on your body. Many of us make these sounds instinctively as we wake up in the morning or settle in for the night. People who are “down to earth” or “rock solid” frequently speak with a healthy dose of this sound in their voices.

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Medium 9781608681297

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Discerning Wise Choices and Responding Flexibly

MFT Linda Graham New World Library ePub

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Discerning Wise Choices and Responding Flexibly

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost . . . I am helpless

It isn’t my fault.

It takes me forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.

My eyes are open,

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

— PORTIA NELSON

 

NEW PERSPECTIVES HOLD THE KEYS to our growth and freedom. Choosing to harness our brain’s neuroplasticity and rewire our conditioned responses and perspectives toward flexibility and resilience means we get to walk down another street. We don’t have to, but we can choose to. Now we have the neural capacity to perceive options where we saw none before, discern which options might be most productive, and choose wisely among them what course of action to take.

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Medium 9781523097821

1 Bud

, The Arbinger Institute Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

It was a brilliant summer morning shortly before nine, and I was hurrying to the most important meeting of my new job at Zagrum Company. As I walked across the tree-lined grounds, I recalled the day two months earlier when I had first entered the secluded campus-style headquarters to interview for a senior management position. I had been watching the company for more than a decade from my perch at one of its competitors and had tired of finishing second. After eight interviews and three weeks spent doubting myself and waiting for news, I was hired to lead one of Zagrum’s product lines.

Now, four weeks later, I was about to be introduced to a senior management ritual peculiar to Zagrum: a daylong one-on-one meeting with the executive vice president, Bud Jefferson. Bud was the right-hand man to Zagrum’s president, Kate Stenarude. And due to a shift within the executive team, he was about to become my new boss.

I had tried to find out what this meeting was all about, but my colleagues’ explanations confused me. They mentioned a discovery that solves “people problems”; how no one really focuses on results; and that something about the “Bud Meeting,” as it was called, and strategies that evidently follow from it, are key to Zagrum’s incredible success. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I was eager to meet, and impress, my new boss.

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Medium 9781605098869

1 Stop Doing What Isn't Working

Muchnick, Mark Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

NOT TOO LONG after we got married, my wife and I got into a rut. We were working dead-end jobs for bosses we didn’t like and were barely making enough money to pay the monthly bills. We were happy as a couple, yet we were unhappy with our professional lives. Between the two of us, we had racked up more than six figures in student loan debt. In addition, we had moved to an area of town that was more affordable and closer to our jobs, but this had taken us farther away from our friends and the coastal part of San Diego we loved most. Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t see how our situation was going to change any time soon.

I started teaching at two community colleges in the evenings to supplement the income from both of our full-time jobs. We also started selling personalized gifts at the local flea market—not exactly our strong suit, but my wife had a knack for calligraphy and I was decent at sales. Every weekend we’d haul display cases, folding tables and chairs, and all of our products in the back of my tiny convertible to our even tinier booth at the swap meet. It was quite a spectacle and an exhausting process. More than anything, though, we regretted the fact that we were working so hard and had so little to show for it.

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Medium 9781576752302

Choice 9: Meditate for a Better Life

Manz, Charles C. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

—Blaise Pascal

S he entered her office, quietly closed the door, and sat in a comfortable straight-backed chair. She knew this was a time in the work day that she would not likely be disturbed. And she had let her colleagues know that when her door was closed, unless it was an emergency, she appreciated their waiting until later to contact her. 90

She closed her eyes and began to focus on her own deep breathing. Each breath was taken in through her nose and into the abdomen and exhaled through her slightly parted lips. Her belly expanded and retracted with each breath, but her chest moved very little. She gradually relaxed more deeply with no effort beyond focusing on each breath. If her mind wandered, she gently returned her attention to her breathing. Fifteen minutes later a preset alarm clock made the sound of ocean waves and she gradually opened her eyes. Feeling refreshed she slowly rose to her feet and opened her door, now feeling ready to face the rest of the day.

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