1332 Slices
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Medium 9781605098258

9 Adapting to New and Different Cultures

Daniel Seddiqui Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Am I in Amish Country yet? I wondered as I drove through the rolling hills of Lancaster County. I couldn’t be; there was a gas station back there. On the pavement of the two-lane highway, there were white circles every twenty meters; I later learned that these are there to warn cars to keep a two-circle distance from one another to prevent tailgating. As I drove around a turn, I spotted a horse and buggy trotting along on the shoulder of the highway. No way; this is so unreal, I thought to myself. But there they were, a little girl and her father riding in their own lane next to the heavy car traffic. If not for the large reflector on the back of the black boxy buggy, I might have overlooked it as it was obscured in the shade of the trees. So the reflectors are important modern additions. I drove slowly and carefully as I approached from behind. I could hear the horses’ hooves pounding the pavement and was eager to catch my first glimpse of the Amish.

When I finally arrived, I searched for a place to eat and found a “Pennsylvania Dutch” restaurant. I didn’t recognize any dish on the menu. I ended up eating chicken croquettes, Amish breaded chicken. It was so good, I wanted every other dish I’d never heard of. From the window of the booth I sat in, I saw a line of horses and buggies following one another to a park across the street. I decided to walk over and see what the occasion was.

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Medium 9781608682508

32. Cultivate Good Habits

Jim Donovan New World Library ePub

A habit is something we do over and over again until it becomes automatic. There are productive habits, those that support us and help us progress toward the life we want, and then there are destructive habits, those that take us farther away from what we want.

Some of our good habits we learned at a very young age, and they still support us. Things like brushing our teeth, taking regular baths and showers, and engaging in other personal-hygiene activities have become automatic.

If you examine your habits, you may be surprised to learn that many of the ones you’d like to change were also learned at a very young age. The tendency to eat foods high in sugar content was probably created when you were a child. Now, as an adult, instead of taking the time to go to the company cafeteria for a healthy meal, you grab a candy bar or some equally low-nutrition food from the vending machine in the hallway. You tell yourself you’re too busy to take the time to eat when in reality your productivity will be lessened because of the unhealthy lunch you had. Eating junk food in the workplace is often the cause of people’s afternoon slumps, not to mention a leading contributor to our current obesity epidemic.

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Medium 9781609940041

Love Your Friends and Your Enemies

Charles C. Manz Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

You have heard that it was said, “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? (Matt. 5: 43–47)

Once again, Jesus’ teaching poses a tremendous challenge. In addressing the centerpiece of his entire message—love—he teaches that we should offer this precious gift to everyone, even those we cannot imagine loving. Here Jesus is preaching a serious lesson about love that is in stark contrast to the frivolous way that love is frequently treated in our culture. Too often, love is viewed as an everyday commodity that can be bartered and consumed in our pursuit of wants and pleasures.

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Medium 9781626562615

Chapter 2. The Singletasking Principle

Devora Zack Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Singletasking is an unobtainable luxury.

Singletasking is a fundamental necessity.

The shortest way to do many things
is to do one thing at a time.

SAMUEL SMITH

We are not learning to singletask. We are relearning. Single-tasking is rooted in the dawn of humankind. Early hunter-gatherers singletasked. That’s how our species survived. This book is not about introducing a newfangled way of being. It is about reclaiming our natural mental state.

Singletasking means being here, now, immersing yourself in one thing at a time.

Multitasking means living in a state of ceaseless distraction. In case you were wondering.

Want a real-life example of singletasking in action?

Brazil’s 2014 World Cup brought the U.S. team to Sao Paolo, reigniting excitement in soccer/football throughout America. The U.S. team lost a riveting 2–1 match against Belgium in overtime during the Round of 16, and the hero of the game was U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard, whose sixteen amazing saves were broadcast over and over around the world. He was undeniably pivotal in ensuring the United States wasn’t trampled, though he still magnanimously credited his teammates. The team arrived as underdogs and played what Howard described as “a world-class team with world-class players,” a level of competition previously considered out of their league.

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Medium 9781576751268

Table of Contents

Brian Tracy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781855751415

4. Death issues in the clinical situation

Robert Langs Karnac Books ePub

To sharpen the clinical sense of how death issues materialize in and affect the course of a psychotherapy experience, I turn now to a brief clinical excerpt.

Dr Denton is a male psychotherapist who works within a psychoanalytic framework. His patient, Mrs Peters, is a woman in her mid-thirties who came to therapy for repeated episodes of depression.

A year into the therapy and three weeks before Dr Denton was due to take a month off for his summer vacation, Mrs Peters suffered and described in her session several recent traumatic incidents. Her father had fallen ill with a serious heart attack; he was in the hospital and near death, but surviving. There had been bitter arguments with her husband because he had had to travel for business and the patient felt deserted at her time of need. The patient was also distressed because her 14-year-old daughter had been out late, and the patient had fantasied that she had been killed in a car accident. When her daughter finally returned home, Mrs Peters, with uncharacteristic loss of control, had hit her daughter rather severely.

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Medium 9781576755990

CHAPTER SIX: BEING MASTERY

Kevin Cashman Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Being is our essence, the source of our character, the core of who we are. Being supports and drives all our energy, achievement, effectiveness, and contribution. Accessing and expressing Being—our innermost Self—is a key to leading with presence, authenticity, and dynamism. Although this may be unfamiliar territory to many people, we can learn practices for leading from this deepest presence.

Exploring Being is an ongoing journey that is particularly helpful to Leadership from the Inside Out. Early in my life, I learned to explore Being through meditation. Although meditation is a technique that works for me, it certainly is not the only one. Meditation is only one way. Many other ways are just as effective and easily accessible to us in our everyday lives. We will consider some of these in this chapter, as we have throughout the book. Regardless of the technique or techniques we choose, it’s important to understand that these practices are merely bridges to opening ourselves up, “paying attention,” as scientist and author Jon Kabat-Zinn would say, and accessing deeper, more silent levels of ourselves.

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Medium 9781780490502

Chapter Eight - “It's only a Dream”: Physiological and Developmental Contributions to the Feeling of Reality

Peter Fonagy Karnac Books ePub

CHAPTER EIGHT

“It's only a dream”: physiological and developmental contributions to the feeling of reality

Lissa Weinstein and Steven J. Ellman

In his story, “The Night Face Up”, Julio Cortazar describes a young man who finds himself in a hospital after a motorcycle accident. The protagonist's day, ordinary until he is surprised by a careless pedestrian, is transformed as he moves in and out of a dream while he lies in traction. In the dream, he is a Motecan Indian fleeing Aztec hunters trying to capture him for a mass sacrifice. Elements of the hospital are incorporated into the dream as he struggles against a rising fever: the surgeon's knife transformed into the priest's sharp stone, the odours of the operating room now interpreted as the smell of woods, swamp, and death. For most of the story, the protagonist is sure that he is the man injured in the hospital, but at the last minute, as he lies on an altar awaiting the cut of the priest's obsidian knife, “He knew that he was not going to wake up, that he was awake, that the marvelous dream had been the other, absurd as all dreams are—a dream in which he was going through the strange avenues of an astonishing city, with green and red lights that burned without fire or smoke…In the infinite lie of the dream, they had also picked him up off the ground, someone had approached him also with a knife in his hand, approached him who was lying face up, face up with his eyes closed between the bonfires on the steps” (Cortazar, 1968).

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Medium 9781855758414

CHAPTER EIGHT: Sacred silence

Colum Kenny Karnac Books ePub

There is a special if seldom used word for someone who observes or recommends silence, especially from religious motives, or for an official whose duty is to command silence. That word is “silentiary”. Whether official or unofficial silentiaries, there have always been those who bid silence or who practised silence for broadly spiritual purposes.

Priestly documents from Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia are said to have “frequently” contained prescriptions of silence (McEvilley, p. 285). The Egyptian god Horus was depicted in statuettes as a somewhat cherubic child with a finger in, or to, his mouth. The Greeks came to regard him as the god of silence, naming him Harpocrates, whence it appears that the silent clown of the Marx Brothers comedy team was named Harpo. However, Plutarch writes,

Nor are we to understand Harpocrates to be either some imperfect or infant God, or a God of pulse (as some will have him), but to be the governor and reducer of the tender, imperfect, and inarticulate discourse which men have about the Gods. For which reason, he hath always his finger upon his mouth, as a symbol of talking little and keeping silence. Likewise, upon the month of Mesore, they present him with certain pulse, and pronounce these words: “The tongue is Fortune, the tongue is God” (W. Goodwin, vol. 4, p. 125).

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Medium 9781577318521

7. Move into the Sunshine

Dr. Bernie S. Siegel New World Library ePub

Nature is always available, easily accessible, and one of the best ways to seek inner healing. Whenever you are feeling stressed, confused, or down, go outside and ask nature to give you an answer to your problems. Then listen and observe the water, wind, birds, animals, and more. You will notice how much better you feel when nature answers you.

Most of the time we are forced to listen to the noise of society: horns, engines, and sirens. We do not even realize how much these sounds can affect us in a negative way. Which sounds bring you peace and which create anxiety? When your soul needs exercise, nature is its gym.

As often as possible, let the harmony of nature surround you and bring peace to all of your senses. Observing nature helps you to heal and stay calm, when you are caught in traffic, stuck in a hospital room or an office, or working alone at home. If you can see nature through your window, any situation will be less stressful and you will cope better.

Stay in touch with Mother Nature. Spend time outside in the sunshine, and have faith that, no matter what your circumstances, you will be a survivor.

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Medium 9781855751743

Chapter Six - Elaborating Stories and Extending Abilities: Training and Supervision

Glenda Fredman Karnac Books ePub

CHAPTER 6

Elaborating stories and extending abilities: training and supervision

I hold a preferred story that “death talk does not necessarily require professional expertise” and that “personal knowledges offer valuable contributions to people who are dying or bereaved”. Hence during learning events on death and bereavement, I do not choose to position myself as holding superior or exclusive knowledges on these subjects. To do this might imply that I am informing less knowledgeable participants on loss, grief and mourning and might risk subjugating their personal, cultural or religious knowledges at the outset. Instead, I prefer to share the responsibility for knowing about death, mourning, and grieving among those who participate out of an interest in learning, which includes myself. As trainer, I take responsibility for introducing new ideas from my personal and professional perspectives when possible, and for helping participants make connections between their own ideas, theories, and practice. I therefore expect to experience the training session as mutually in-forming.

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Medium 9781608682294

12. Aristotle and the Art of Flourishing

Jules Evans New World Library ePub

AS I APPROACHED THE COMPLETION OF THIS BOOK, I decided I needed to get up from my desk and stretch my legs. I set off one May morning to walk the Camino de Santiago, the old medieval pilgrimage route that weaves (in its most popular route, the Camino Francés) for 780 kilometers across northern Spain to Santiago de Compostela. The pilgrimage had once been an expression of the unity of Christendom: travellers from all over Europe found a common identity as pilgrims, and a common goal in Santiago. In the modern age, the Camino has been revived by the European Union as a symbol of Europe’s cultural, economic, and fiscal unity — although as I walked through Spain, the Eurozone seemed to be collapsing. Today, few pilgrims really think that walking the Camino will give them an express pass through purgatory, as their medieval counterparts believed. But for some, walking the Camino is still a serious act of religious devotion. I met one intense young Englishman called Arthur, a recent convert to Catholicism, whose eyes burned with terrifying ardor. He described himself as a professional pilgrim. One day he’d walked eighty kilometers before collapsing and sleeping in a field. I asked him what he’d do when he reached Santiago. “I want to do another pilgrimage,” he said. “A proper one this time.”

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Medium 9781576753293

7 Level Four Resiliency: Unleash Your Curiosity: Enjoy Learning in the School of Life

Al Siebert Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

My flight on the small commuter plane had only a few passengers, so it did not take long to board and settle into our seats. The flight attendant helped the mother sitting in front of me shorten and fasten the seat belt for her young, slender daughter.

During the lull before the attendant shut the cabin door, the little girl turned to her mother and asked in a loud, demanding voice, “What is cabin pressure? How can they lose it? If they lose cabin pressure, how do they find it? Mother, what is cabin pressure?” The mother looked at the girl but did not answer. Instead, she turned those of us sitting nearby, sighed loudly, and said with good-natured resignation, “It’s like this all day long, every day.”

We all smiled and chuckled. Good mother! I thought to myself, You aren’t trying to squelch your daughter’s curiosity. I knew that this little girl who wanted to know about an airplane’s cabin pressure and how to find it when it is lost would become a much more resilient adult than children in classrooms being taught about atmospheric pressure on a day when the school curriculum has the topic scheduled.

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Medium 9781626560956

1 The Selfish Giant

Seth Adam Smith Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

In one degree or another we all struggle with
selfishness. Since it is so common, why worry
about selfishness anyway? Because selfishness
is really self-destruction in slow motion.

NEAL A. MAXWELL, AUTHOR

I was born with a frighteningly large head.

Seriously. It scared the nurse.

Not long after my grand entrance, she measured my head and whispered, “No, that can’t be right.”

She measured it again. “It’s not possible.”

She measured it a third time and then looked up at the doctor. “Do you realize that this boy has the biggest head I have ever measured?”3

It was a symbol of things to come. From ill-conceived notions in my six-year-old brain about my ability to create and control a bonfire behind my house to fanciful ideas that made me think I could befriend particularly aggressive wildlife,4 my big, egotistical head was always getting me into disastrous trouble.

Yes, my giant head was always getting me into trouble. But luckily, my family was always there to bail me out.

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Medium 9781605093512

SEVEN Maintaining the Momentum

Marcia Reynolds Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Making the decision to transform yourself is easy; sustaining your commitment to fully realize your transformation is not easy. Changing habitual behavior patterns can take months of focused awareness, experimentation, and reflection. At times, when you are giving up old ways of being to try on new selves, you will feel as though you are driving through a patch of fog on the freeway. When you can’t see where you are going, you get frustrated by not knowing what choices you should make. Your brain tells you to take the first off-ramp and head back to where you came from. There is safety going back to old thinking and behaviors, especially the ones that served you well in the past. Yet if you stay the course, the road will eventually reappear. Your world will forever look different from this point of view. This chapter will give you the tools you need to help you honor your commitment to transform.

Transformation starts with an ending. In the second part of this book, you started the first phase of transformation by recognizing what assumptions you need to quit believing so that you can move toward having more contentment and a sense of direction. Even though these beliefs served you in the past, you need to let them go to move on. The first phase of your transformation required you to say good-bye to who you were so that the work you do to bring in new beliefs, identities, and behaviors has a chance to take hold.

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