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Medium 9781609948092

3 Insight Listening

Kiefer, Charles F. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Whether you have insights more frequently on your own or with others, one type of listening is particularly conducive to having insights. It is a key component to The Art of Insight, and it, too, is more a state of mind than a process. We refer to it as Insight Listening.

Everyone we’ve worked with has derived some value from learning to listen for insights. Based on reports from our clients, insights routinely occur during conversation. They occur in conversations between individuals, in small groups, or even in your head while you are talking to yourself. Listening to talk radio during a morning commute can spark an insight, but so can sitting through a boring sales pitch. In fact, you don’t even need to be a participant in the conversation for it to trigger an insight. It turns out that it is all about how we listen.

Having more insights boils down to two things: being a bit disciplined to look for them and noticing the presence or absence of the feeling that is indicative of an Insight State of Mind. While both of these are simple in concept, unless you are graced with the disposition of a yogi, time and mindfulness are required to help cultivate these states.

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Medium 9780971435223

Visionary Goofballs

Jed McKenna Wisefool Press PDF

He most honors my style who learns under it to destroy the teacher........

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Medium 9781609940041

Commit to Ethical Behavior

Manz, Charles C. Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

So they watched him and sent spies who pretended to be honest, in order to trap him by what he said, so as to hand him over to the jurisdiction and authority of the governor. So they asked him, “Teacher, we know that you are right in what you say and teach, and you show deference to no one, but teach the way of God in accordance with truth. Is it lawful for us to pay taxes to the emperor, or not?” But he perceived their craftiness and said to them, “Show me a denarius. Whose head and whose title does it bear?” They said, “The Emperor’s.” He said to them, “Then give to the emperor the things that are the emperor’s, and give to God the things that are God’s.” And they were not able in the presence of the people to trap him by what he said; and being amazed by his answer, they became silent. (Luke 20: 20–26)

Throughout the accounts of Jesus’ life it is readily apparent that he based his teaching on a strong moral and ethical foundation. Self-serving immoral behavior was just not an acceptable choice. This passage from the book of Luke describes a fascinating situation in which Jesus is challenged to address an emotionally charged, controversial issue. The question about whether it was right for persons to be forced to pay taxes, particularly when many tax collectors collected more than they were supposed to and pocketed a portion of what they collected, was a heated issue.

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Medium 9781605098265


Schuster, John P Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781576759448


van Dernoot Lipsky, Laura Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781577310778

Become a Creative Force

New World Library ePub

We all have in us as part of our nature a deep desire to create, to bring something into being that never existed, to make something new. It may not be a painting, a novel, or a musical composition — the products typically associated with the creative process. We may want to create a new scientific explanation, a flower arrangement, a computer program, a business, or simply good health.

People are, by nature and instinct, creators. But very few people have been trained to create. Why has the creative process been made to seem like a mystery? Why have most people had such little exposure to it?

The process has been mystified in part because misconceptions have grown up around it. Many people think that great ideas descend from on high and visit special mortals who are blessed — or plagued — with sudden realization, vision, and inspiration. They fail to understand that creating is a process of which everyone is capable.

So how does one go about creating? The best way to learn to create is by creating. Practice is always more important than theory. We can sit all day and talk about the creative process, but it is only when we start creating that we begin to have real knowledge, experience, and command of the subject. Only after involving ourselves in many experiences of creating can we become better at it.

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Medium 9781608681297

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Developing Emotional Intelligence

MFT Linda Graham New World Library ePub


Developing Emotional Intelligence

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.


EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE is a phrase used by Daniel Goleman almost two decades ago to describe a range of skillful behaviors that allow us to navigate our peopled world with effectiveness and resilience. Curt used it when he channeled his anger into constructive action, meeting with the school principal and obtaining an apology to his daughter. The two Canadian women put it to work when they decided to trust each other with their cars so that they could get through the snowstorm to their loved ones. Toby used it when he expressed loving acceptance that brought Richard out of his swamp of shame, and it helped Monica hold the grief of her several simultaneous losses with compassion. My brother, Barry, put emotional intelligence to work when he was willing to try a gratitude practice to help get him through a medical crisis.

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Medium 9781855759169

CHAPTER FIVE: The science, spirit, chaos, and order of social dreaming

W Gordon Lawrence Karnac Books ePub

Suzanne Leigh Ross

In 1989, I was invited to be a staff member on the first Australian Social Dreaming Conference directed by Gordon Lawrence. Since then I have been involved in social dreaming in a variety of ways: a matrix member at the Spa conference in Belgium in 1991; as a co-consultant to a long-term matrix with Alastair Bain, from 1991 onwards, and as co-director of the social dreaming matrix with Lawrence at the International Group Relations and Scientific Conference in Lorne, Australia, in 1993.

Through these varied experiences across task, role, duration, membership, and focus of the matrices, I have become increasingly convinced that social dreaming is not new; it has a very ancient base in many cultures. For the Australian Aborigine, “In the beginning was the dreaming” (Lawlor, 1991, p. 13). This ancient connection has been suggested by many, including Lawrence himself. Our experiences from a long-term matrix parallel the archetypal aspects found in many writings of past cultures alongside the theoretical parallel, which I feel confirms this position.

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Medium 9781576757642

The courage of conversation

Wheatley, Margaret J. Berrett-Koehler Publishers PDF

the courage of conversation

It’s not easy to begin talking to one another again. We stay silent and apart for many reasons. Some of us never have been invited to share our ideas and opinions. From early school days and now as adults, we’ve been instructed to be quiet so others can tell us what to think.

Others of us are accustomed to meetings to discuss ideas, but then these sessions degenerate into people shouting, or stomping out angrily, or taking over control of the agenda. These experiences have left us feeling hesitant to speak, and frightened of each other.

But good conversation is very different from those bad meetings.

It is a much older and more reliable way for humans to think together.

Before there were meetings, planning processes, or any other techniques, there was conversation—people sitting around interested in each other, talking together. When we think about beginning a conversation, we can take courage from the fact that this is a process we all know how to do. We are reawakening an ancient practice, a way of being together that all humans remember. A colleague in

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Medium 9781608682294

Graduation: Socrates and the Art of Departure

Jules Evans New World Library ePub

THOMAS DALEY JOINED THE US MARINE CORPS in 1978, when he was seventeen, and retired in 2008, having completed tours in Beirut, Grenada, Panama, in the two Iraq wars, and in Afghanistan. He had been injured and evacuated five times while fighting for his country. Probably his most challenging situation was in November 2004 in the Second Battle of Fallujah in Iraq, where some of the most intense urban fighting involving American forces occurred since the battle for Hue in 1968, during the Vietnam War. Over the course of 2004, Iraqi and foreign insurgents had built up strong positions within the “city of mosques,” positioning snipers and improvised explosive devices (IEDs) around the city in preparation for a showdown with the Marines. The Pentagon believed the city had become the stronghold of around five thousand Al Qaeda forces, led by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq.

On November 8th, the Marines began an assault on the city, code-named Operation Phantom Fury. The US Army moved in first in Bradley Fighting Vehicles, then Marines followed on foot supported by artillery and heavy weapons. They entered in the north of the city, and worked their way south house by house. Tom says: “I would describe Fallujah as like driving in a car, and then the car hits a patch of ice and starts to spin out of control. So you turn the wheels into the skid. It’s instinctual. It was a very dangerous environment. In such situations, it’s very obvious you are mortal. I would honestly tell myself, in some of those hairy situations, that everybody dies sometimes, and that sometimes, for the good of the whole, you have to put yourself at risk, or send others into risky situations.”

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Medium 9781605098265

Chapter 7: Using Suffering to Grow

Schuster, John P Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Near the beginning of Dickens’s novel Nicholas Nickleby, in a long discussion of memory and happiness, one gentleman says, “Memory, however sad, is the best and purest link between this world and a better.” This short assertion describes the power of our past for connecting us to our more ideal world. That is why amnesia is the enemy, and while it may block what is sad for a time, it stunts the growth that can come from working with the sadder side of life.

We have described the ways to use courage and imagination for making our memories a source for reinventing ourselves. In the previous chapter, we formulated mental frameworks for staying true to ourselves in the midst of past compressions and social pressures not to. And finally, here, we look at a universal human experience that can shrink us or make our path more meaningful, depending on how we handle it. We look at the experience of loss.

The biggest secret about remembrance, and maybe its biggest payoff, is that when we recall and recast, we turbocharge our growth by learning how to creatively suffer. Creative suffering expands our presence because fewer dynamics have control over us and because we enlarge our hearts.

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Medium 9781609949198

3 The Path of Water

Foundation, Anasazi Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

I escaped the land of winding cliffs to the south.
And when I did so, I changed course from where
I initially had planned to go.

From that day, I no longer ran from my people
but merely persisted in staying away from them.

Days passed into months and months into years.

I grew into manhood without the companionship of
my father and without the worrying comfort of my mother.

The hills and the valleys raised me.

Then, as well as now, in my daily walking, I have sought
the answer to one question above all others:

Where will I find water?

Think about water for a moment.

Have you ever considered all it does for us?

I have learned to walk near water, for beside it the earth
springs forth to provide shade and refreshment.

I try to rest near water,
for I need it for nourishment and strength.

I bathe in water, for it cleanses and invigorates my skin.

My final destination at the end of each day has been
a pool of pure water.

And when traveling in dry places, each morning
I have set off with as much of that pool as I could carry.

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Medium 9781608681297

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: How Positive Emotions Build Resilience

MFT Linda Graham New World Library ePub


How Positive Emotions Build Resilience

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs —jolted by every pebble in the road.


THE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY MOVEMENT has gained momentum in recent years because of the research data showing the effect of positive emotions like joy and delight in enhancing our mental, emotional, and physical health and thus our capacities to cope. Scientists have demonstrated that cultivating positive emotions can actually undo the constricting effects of negative emotions on our behaviors, moving us beyond the narrow band of our default survival responses to more resilient options. Deliberately cultivating positive emotions can broaden and build our repertoire of possibilities. Joy can spark the urge to play, to push the limits and be creative. Interest can spark the urge to explore, take in new information and experiences, and expand the sense of self in the process. Laughter breathes some space into grief. Contentment creates the urge to savor current life circumstances and integrate that savoring into new views.

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Medium 9781608682508

60. Get Up and Start Moving

Jim Donovan New World Library ePub

It’s not going to be a surprise to anyone when I say that people, especially in the United States, are terribly out of shape. The obesity problem in the States has reached a critical level and is costing billions of dollars in added health-care costs. We are among the unhealthiest people in the world, raking thirty-third on the list of the world’s healthiest countries (United Nations, World Bank, World Health Organization, 2012). We consume more food and have higher health-care costs than any other country. The problem has even moved into the adolescent population, creating a situation that could, if not addressed and rectified, bankrupt our health-care system.

One suggestion, made to me by the owner of my local health club, is to simply get up and start moving. We have become such a sedentary society, with all our modern conveniences. With so many people using computers while sitting at their desks, it’s no wonder we’re out of shape. A few generations ago there were no health clubs or fitness centers. People worked at jobs that required physical activity beyond clicking a mouse. Today, unless you live in a big city, where people walk places, you most likely drive to a job that requires little or no physical activity.

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Medium 9781608681457

9. You Are the Tree of Life

Marc Allen New World Library ePub



The end of all wisdom

is love, love, love!


Be not impatient in delay,

But wait as one who understands;

When spirit rises and commands,

The gods are ready to obey.

(quoted by JAMES ALLEN in As You Think)

The world itself and everything on it are magical creations. You can say that it’s a miracle that it all exists. This isn’t some religion you have to believe in or a philosophy that has no relevance in your daily life; this is simply what is. Our greatest scientists have come to the same conclusions as our mystics. Let’s take another look at this brilliant insight of Einstein’s that we saw earlier:

There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I choose the latter.

We choose how we view the world and ourselves. Our choice is usually an unconscious one, but we can choose to make our choices consciously. We can choose to see our world as a place composed of an endless series of miracles. We can choose to see ourselves as capable, creative individuals — capable, in fact, of creating miracles. The choice is up to us.

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