83 Slices
Medium 9781935362593

Frustrations

Julia Icenogle Kansas City Star Quilts ePub

Even though Mrs. Bobbins loves to quilt, it does have its frustratingly funny moments.

“Shoot, I think I’ve quilted in the tablecloth again.”

“When you’re finished, I need you to shave this old quilt…it’s bearding, too.”

“The moths that eat my wool quilts get appliquéd over the holes they make.”

“I’m telling you, Edith, carpal-tunnel just proves that I deserve a big blue ribbon!”

“Here’s a little something to help my quilt get to the top of the queue…and no questions asked.”

Mrs. Bobbins learns the hard way always to buy extra fabric for the binding.

Overnight guests at the Bobbins’ may not be able to breathe, but they are never cold.

“It is a little bit late for Christmas peppermints. Let’s say they’re beach balls.”

A little microquilting goes a long… actually, it only goes a little way.

“I’ve been fighting this windmill so long I feel like Don Quixote.”

See All Chapters
Medium 9780615928272

I Feel Hurt When You Are An Asshole

Dani Burlison Petals & Bones Press PDF

DANI BURLISON

Unfortunately, there are people in this world that believe– deep down in their indigo-shaded tie-dyed souls–that they are effective communicators. What these people don’t realize is that they are crazy.

Take wannabe Nonviolent Communication devotees, for instance. And also, people who are sociopaths.

The premise seems harmless enough: Nonviolent Communication is a self-righteous cult-like language style that supposedly facilitates the flow of communication needed to exchange information and resolve differences peacefully. It also claims to help focus attention on compassion as a motivating factor, instead of guilt, blame, fear or shame. In some cases, it helps people to own their feelings. This, I appreciate. I always own the shit out of my feelings, and sometimes everyone else’s feelings, too. Growing up in an obscenely large dysfunctional family molded me into a loyal codependent. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

The framework of Nonviolent Communication adds a lot of unnecessary words to sentences, though, and can chew up anywhere from four to thirty-five minutes of any given day.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781741795240

Faeces Foot

Simon Winchester Lonely Planet ePub

Tim Cahill is the author of nine books, including Hold the Enlightenment, Jaguars Ripped My Flesh and Lost in My Own Backyard. He writes for many national magazines and is the co-writer of three IMAX films, including Everest. Tim lives in Montana with his wife, Linnea, two dogs and two cats.

On expeditions to remote and difficult areas, when conditions can become uncomfortable, if not to say actually agonising, it is customary to restructure the pain by irritating and annoying one’s companions. In such situations, a person fully expects to be taunted, mocked, ragged and generally made the butt of some profoundly grating ongoing jibe. Those of us who do this sort of thing for a living assume that giving the other girl or guy a daily ration of humiliation raises their tolerance level and helps them endure physical pain. We get our poop in a pile and fling it in the faces of our companions for their own good. No one derives any pleasure out of this. (Okay, I lied. It’s really fun – unless, of course, you are the person becoming exasperated beyond measure.) Expedition members generally take turns at being the brunt of the joke.

See All Chapters
Medium 9781741795240

Wangara’s Cross

Simon Winchester Lonely Planet ePub

Joshua Clark, founder of Light of New Orleans Publishing, contributes fiction, travel and photography to various US publications, from the Los Angeles Times to the Miami Herald. He is also the associate editor for Scat magazine. An oyster-eating champion, certified personal trainer and retired bartender, Joshua was raised in Washington, DC, got a somewhat irrelevant economics degree from Yale University, lived in Spain, Australia and Argentina, and now resides in New Orleans.

There is a part of the Simpson Desert in Central Australia where day is split clean into red and blue, earth and sky, with only bone-white trees between the two. And dusk is the same as dawn. The small leafless trees reach like hands, the branches fingers grasping for sky, silhouetted against the red above the horizon. Above the red is a strip of orange and above that canary yellow and pastel blue which gets deeper, then darker overhead, until it’s black against clouds of stars you can’t see in the Northern Hemisphere. It was below those stars and between those trees that my overturned ’74 panel van lay hulking against the red horizon.

See All Chapters
Medium 9780615928272

The Geography Of Uncool:Public Transportation

Dani Burlison Petals & Bones Press PDF

DANI BURLISON

possibility; romance, adventure and a microscopic carbon footprint. A winning situation for me and the entire world.

To psych myself up, I thought back to several years ago when I watched Amelie every single night for an entire month in an attempt to revive my faith in love. I figured that if I watched the film often and with the naïvely optimistic, rose-tinted eyes of someone far enough away from the obliteration of heartbreak, that I’d somehow manifest some osmotic boot- knocking. Or something like that. Of course, what made the movie a complete romantic masterpiece wasn’t solely the onscreen presence of the lovely miss

Audrey Tautou or hottie Mathieu Kassovitz and their muchanticipated kiss on her doorstep, but the element of mystery, adventure and hip-quotient that Paris’ public transportation system and its depots seem to exude.

The idea of a chance encounter with a potential mate in the middle of criss-crossing strangers at a bus or train station or while daydreaming out the window, rolling swiftly toward a destination is one that I’d argue most of us have entertained at least once in our lifetimes.

See All Chapters

See All Slices