17 Chapters
Medium 9781576755594

7. Speaking Up with Power

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

A No uttered from deepest conviction
is better and greater than a Yes
merely uttered to please or,
what is worse, to avoid trouble
.

MAHATMA GANDHI

* STEP BACK TO EXPLORE Reliving past trauma over speaking up.

* LET GO of your pain from past suppression.

* SAY YES! to your personal power through words and action.

* BREAKTHROUGH “I use my voice to support myself and others.”

* Christine: I have a long history of not being able to speak up for myself. I see now that how I was raised and what I went through growing up stunted my ability to know myself. I couldn’t express what I believed or wanted. And often, I didn’t even know what I thought deep down. My very traditional, conservative parents came from cultures that believed women and children should be seen and not heard, so that’s how I was trained. Throughout my life, I can’t ever remember asking myself, “What do I really want to say here?” because it didn’t seem like a relevant question. My thoughts and feelings weren’t allowed to come to the surface.

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6. Achieving Self-Love

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Know thyself.

SOCRATES

* STEP BACK TO EXPLORE Needing to reclaim your power from a source outside of you.

* LET GO of giving up your power to others or things.

* SAY YES! to acting in alignment with the real you.

* BREAKTHROUGH “I love and accept myself.”

* Marsha: My personal story is full of bumps and challenges. When I was young, my mom died, and there was a bitter custody battle for me between my father and my mother’s relatives. I ended up living with distant relatives, and it was a very unhappy situation. I was neglected and ignored, and life was bleak for me. In my teens, I experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a trusted family friend. All of this contributed to my sense that I had very little power or control in my life. I think I had the expectation that what was coming down the pike for me in life was going to be a tough struggle. I was surrounded by misogyny and chauvinism as a young person, which forged in me a strong sense of feminism that remains with me today. Unlike the men who surrounded me, the women in my life were caring, nurturing, and very powerful. I grew to believe that women in general were strong, competent, emotionally intelligent and resilient, and in some ways even superior to men, and I set out to prove it.

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Contents

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub
Medium 9781576755594

11. Using Real Talents in Life and Work

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Man is the only creature
who refuses to be what he is
.

ALBERT CAMUS

* STEP BACK TO EXPLORE Denying the power of your unique gifts.

* LET GO of your fears of failure and inadequacy.

* SAY YES! to believing in your talents without fail.

* BREAKTHROUGH “I use my real talents in life and work.”

* Monique: When I think back to my childhood, I never really seized on a specific career path that I wanted. But from when I was a little girl, I thought about being a performer of some sort, maybe a singer. I didn’t have a great childhood. It was marred by a lot of instability and insecurity. So I knew I wanted security and stability, and I wasn’t picky about how I’d accomplish that.

The first major decision I made in life was not to finish college. I was studying accounting, but I found the whole thing so boring. I remember somebody said to me then that cosmetics would always be great business, so I left college and got my first job at Estée Lauder. I loved it and was good at it because it was immediate and it helped people. I did very well, working there from age 18 to 24.

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13. Falling Together After Falling Apart

Caprino, Kathy Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Everything can be taken from a man but
one thing; the last of the human freedoms—
to choose one’s attitude in any given set of
circumstances, to choose one’s own way
.

VIKTOR FRANKL
Man’s Search for Meaning

* STEP BACK TO EXPLORE A connection to struggle and to what no longer serves.

* LET GO of making excuses.

* SAY YES! to creating your new life as you want it.

* BREAKTHROUGH “I know what is important to me, and I honor it.”

* Theresa: Truthfully, I don’t talk much about my background and childhood because people just get overwhelmed about it, feel sorry for me, or see only the difficulties. But I really don’t view it that way. I believe that everything that’s happened to me has made me who I am, and I wouldn’t change any of it. The reality is that I was born to a mother who was imprisoned for being a con artist, and as a baby I was handed off to my mother’s sister. I suffered abuse in her home and was removed by the state. I was taken in by a series of foster homes for the next several years and was placed in my final adoptive home when I was 6. It was a small farm in Kansas, and I had a very modest upbringing. I worked all the time, and there was no TV, no playtime, no frills, nothing was wasted. Basically, if we didn’t grow it or kill it, we didn’t eat it. We were very poor, and certain days of the week we would have to go to the trash dumpster behind the grocery store to get our vegetables to eat.

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