Medium 9781609947170

Kiss That Frog!

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The Enhanced Edition includes short-course videos by the coauthors for each of the twelve chapters of the book (total of 18.5 minutes). Both Brian Tracy and Christina Tracy Stein show how to apply the messages of each chapter to everyday life. Videos include: Your Full Potential, Confront Your Frogs, You Become What You Think, The Law of Substitution, Victim of Victor in Life, and The Law of Forgiveness.

Just like the lonely princess in the fairy tale who was reluctant to lock lips with a warty frog and transform him into a handsome prince, something stops many of us short of attaining our dreams. Our negative thoughts, emotions, and attitudes can threaten to keep us from achieving all that we’re capable of. Here bestselling author and speaker Brian Tracy and his daughter, therapist Christina Tracy Stein, provide a set of practical, proven strategies anyone can use to turn those negative frogs into positive princes.

Tracy and Stein present a step-by-step plan that addresses the root causes of negativity, helps you uncover blocks that have become mental obstacles, and shows how you can transform them into stepping-stones to achieve your fullest potential. The book distills, in an accessible and immediately useful form, what Tracy has presented in more than 5,000 talks and seminars with more than five million people in fifty-eight countries and what Stein has learned through thousands of hours of counseling people from all walks of life.

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,” the authors quote Shakespeare. The many powerful techniques and exercises in this book will help you change your mindset so that you discover something worthwhile in every person and experience, however difficult and challenging they might seem at first. You’ll learn how to develop unshakable self-confidence, become your best self, and begin living an extraordinary life.

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1 Seven Truths About You

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Your natural state is to be happy, peaceful, joyous, and full of excitement at being alive. In this natural state you wake up each morning eager to start the day. You feel wonderful about yourself and your relationships with the people in your life. You enjoy your work and derive a great sense of satisfaction from making a contribution that makes a difference. Your primary goal should be to organize your life in such a way that this is how you feel most of the time.

As a fully functioning, fully mature adult, you should be doing things every day that move you toward the fulfillment of your potential. You should feel grateful for all your blessings in every area. If you are unhappy or dissatisfied in any part of your life, something is not right in your thoughts, feelings, or actions, and it needs to be corrected.

The starting point in unlocking your full potential is to realize that you already are a prince or princess, deep down inside.

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

 

2 Imagine Your Handsome Prince

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The princess did not start off dreaming about marrying whoever came along. She began with a clear idea of meeting a handsome prince who would be ideal for her in every respect. What is your handsome prince or princess in your work or your personal life?

To become a truly happy and fulfilled person, you must start with a clear definition of the ideal person you would like to be and the perfect life you would like to live. What qualities and characteristics would you have if you were the very best person you could possibly be?

Psychologists have described fully functioning, self-actualizing people as genuinely happy, at peace with the world and themselves, self-confident, positive, personable, relaxed, feeling that they are fulfilling their full potential, grateful, energized, and generally feeling terrific about life. If this description is a good goal for you in the months ahead, this book will show you how to become that kind of person.

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.

 

3 Look Your Frog in the Face

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When the beautiful princess was asked to kiss that wet, slimy, cold, ugly frog, she had a choice to make. She could continue in her current situation, alone and unhappy, or she could summon up her courage and take a chance with the frog, even though there were no guarantees.

All of us have a frog that we need to kiss, sometimes several frogs. The frogs in your life are negative people, situations, and past experiences; current problems; and your doubts and self-limiting beliefs. Some frogs are risks and commitments you have to make if you want to get unstuck and move ahead.

Sometimes, to kiss your frog, you are really deciding to embrace the frog and accept that frogs can be slimy, cold, and ugly. Sometimes you are kissing the frog good-bye and letting go of a judgmental or guilt-provoking frog. Sometimes you are choosing to change your expectations and see the frog in a new way. Other times you may need to kiss the frog on the forehead and forgive it. There are many ways to eliminate frogs from your life.

 

4 Clear the Pond of Ugly Frogs

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Your goal in life is to be happy. Happiness and peace of mind are the ultimate aim of almost all individuals. Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the real measure of how successful you are as a human being.

The good news is that it has never been more possible for you to achieve happiness and fulfillment in every part of your life than it is today. We know more today about the reasons for happiness and unhappiness than we have ever known before. We have learned more about the functioning of the human brain relative to happiness, and to all other functions, in the last few years than we ever knew before.

The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent.

SMILEY BLANTON

When Brian was in his twenties, ambitious and eager to live a happy, fulfilling life, he began to study the subject of happiness. After thousands of hours of reading and research in the areas of psychology, philosophy, religion, and success, he got an extraordinary insight into the entire subject.

 

5 Drain the Swamp

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Everyone wants to be happy and self-fulfilled. Everyone wants to experience joy, satisfaction, happy relationships, and peace of mind. Why, then, are so many people, by their own admission, leading “lives of quiet desperation”?

In almost every case, as we have discussed, the lack of happiness and personal fulfillment can be traced back to negative emotions and the blocks they throw in the paths of our lives. Those ugly frogs deep in the mental swamp trip us up and hold us back.

People are always blaming circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.

VIVIE WARREN, MRS. WARREN’S PROFESSION, GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Because of destructive criticism and a lack of sufficient love in childhood, children can begin to develop negative emotions at an early age. As they become adults, these emotions can become more and more intense and generate additional negative emotions of various kinds.

 

6 Change the Water in Your Pond

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You have extraordinary mental powers that you seldom use that can bring you all the success and joy you want in life. The truth is that you are where you are and what you are because of the way you think, which is largely habitual. When you change the way you think, you change both your inner life and outer life.

The thinking, life, and experiences of many people can be compared to a stagnant pond, where the water never flows out, creating a breeding ground for the kind of creatures that live in brackish water. It is too easy for some people to stop taking in fresh, healthy, positive ideas and messages, rehashing and reliving negative thoughts and becoming generally negative and unmotivated about their lives. But this is not for you.

Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.

BRUCE BARTON

Changing your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes is not easy, but just as you can become physically fit after a long period of not exercising, you can become positive, happy, and confident—mentally fit—by working on yourself. You can deliberately feed your mind with clean, clear, positive thoughts and images that start to make your life the way you want it.

 

7 Look for the Beauty in Frogs

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It is not what happens to you in life that determines how you feel; it is how you respond to what happens. It is not the frogs in your life but the way that you deal with those frogs.

Two people may have the same experience, but one will rise above it, let it go, and get on with life. The other person will be crushed, angry, resentful, and unhappy for an extended period of time—same event, two different reactions.

Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct.

BRIAN TRACY

In the book A Course in Miracles, Helen Schucman and William Thetford say, “You give meaning to everything you see.” This means that nothing contains any emotion, positive or negative, except for the emotion you put into it by the way you think about it.

The fastest way to transform a negative to a positive and to free yourself from the unhappy experiences of the past is to resolve to see your past in a different way. As soon as you practice the Law of Substitution and exchange a positive thought for a negative thought, your emotions change almost instantly.

 

8 Leap Forward Confidently

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The pond starts off with cool, clear spring water, ideal for living creatures to grow, swim, and thrive in. Why is it, then, that instead of beautiful, healthy, happy creatures, the negative emotions of frogs appear and thrive?

In the same way, each child comes into the world as pure potential, with the ability to become an extraordinary person, do wonderful things, and have high levels of health, happiness, and prosperity throughout life. People today can live longer and better than has ever been possible for the human race, and if anything, this situation is getting better year by year.

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

ORISON SWETT MARDEN

Children are born complete optimists, fearless and uninhibited, excited, curious, and eager to touch, taste, smell, and feel everything around them. (Have you ever seen a negative baby?)

Early in life, however, as the result of mistakes that parents make, children soon begin to experience destructive criticism and lack of love. These two behaviors, either alone or together, are the primary sources of unhappiness and dysfunction in adult life.

 

9 Kiss Your Ugly Frogs Good-bye

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In talking about what holds you back from becoming everything you are capable of becoming, we must deal with feelings of guilt and unworthiness. These feelings can sabotage all your hopes and dreams for success and happiness if you don’t learn how to get rid of them.

Children are not born with feelings of guilt. Every guilty feeling that you have as an adult was taught to you by your parents, siblings, and others as you were growing up. And because feelings of guilt have been learned, they can be unlearned as well.

The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Parents usually use guilt on their children because guilt was used on them by their parents, and often by their grandparents, back through the generations. It becomes such a normal part of interacting that people are often unaware that they are using guilt.

Some churches practice “negative religion.” In these churches and schools of thought such as socialism and communism, guilt is used systematically and deliberately to undermine emotions, destroy personalities, and make people easily controllable by the person using the guilt.

 

10 Expect the Best of Your Frog

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The primary reason that people are unhappy today is because they are still angry with someone who did or did not do something to them or for them in the past. They still have not forgiven another person for a mistake they feel that person made or a wrong they feel that that person inflicted upon them.

When you were a child, your parents took care of everything. They fed you, bathed you, clothed you, took you to school, picked you up, and watched over you. At an early age, most children get the feeling that they are surrounded by the arms of a protector who is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-wise. As a result, children come to expect that they live in a rational, logical, and orderly universe where their all-knowing parents care for them, protect them, and make the best decisions for them.

If you paint in your mind a picture of bright and happy expectations, you put yourself into a position conducive to your goal.

NORMAN VINCENT PEALE

According to Jean Piaget, the child development specialist who wrote The Construction of Reality in the Child, children evolve and mature, moving upward through ever-more-complex levels of understanding of human interaction. At stage four of this development process, early in life, children expect everything to be fair and just. If, for any reason, they see or experience what they consider to be injustice in their world, they can become angry or disappointed. They will say, with great emotion, “It’s not fair!”

 

11 Let Go of Those Painful Frogs

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Your goal in life is to be happy, joyous, and emotionally free as much of the time as you possibly can. So you must get rid of all the old baggage and negativity that holds you back, like lead weight, and stops you from achieving all that is possible for you.

Perhaps the most important principle of success and happiness is contained in the Law of Forgiveness, which says that you are mentally healthy to the degree to which you can freely forgive, forget, and let go of any negative experience. This does not mean that you can’t learn valuable lessons from unhappy experiences. But you separate the wheat from the chaff. You take the lessons to heart and then let the rest go. John F. Kennedy once said, “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”

Each experience through which we pass operates ultimately for our good. This is a correct attitude to adopt and we must ultimately see it in that light.

RAYMOND HOLLIWELL

Almost all the great religions teach the importance of forgiveness as the key to inner peace. If you cannot forgive, you are stuck at a lower level of happiness and satisfaction. You are held back year after year by your refusal or unwillingness to let go of a previous hurt.

 

12 Seven Keys to a Positive Personality

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Your physical diet has a large impact on your levels of health and energy. If you eat fresh, healthy, high-quality foods of all kinds and avoid the foods that are bad for you, you will have more energy, be generally resistant to most diseases, sleep better, and feel healthier and happier.

In the same way, your mental diet largely determines your character and your personality and almost everything that happens to you in life. When you feed your mind with positive ideas, information, books, conversations, audio programs, and thoughts, you develop a more positive and effective personality. You become more influential and persuasive. You enjoy greater self-confidence and self-esteem.

Help people become more motivated by guiding them to the source of their own power.

PAUL G. THOMAS

Those who work with computers use the expression “GIGO,” or “garbage in, garbage out.” But the reverse is also true, “Good in, good out.”

When you make a clear, unequivocal decision that you are going to take complete control over your mind, eliminate the negative emotions and thoughts that may have held you back in the past, and become a completely positive person, you can actually bring about your own personal transformation.

 

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