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Medium 9781945349713

Chapter 3

Boogren, Tina H. Solution Tree Press PDF


Safety Needs


ow take a look at the second level: safety. You can think of safety as being free from “risk of injury, danger, or loss”

(“Safety,” n.d.). Safety involves order, predictability, and fairness, which reduce the possibility of physical or emotional harm.

Feeling unsafe can contribute to anxiety, which, if experienced over time or continuously, can negatively affect your digestive, nervous, and immune systems (Holmes, 2014). A doctor can help you determine if you have an anxiety disorder if you feel like you’re really struggling here.

After you’ve satisfied your physiological needs, you will naturally seek out situations where you feel secure. Ultimately, you want to have a sense of perceived safety as well as actual safety. In other words, you want to be safe and also feel safe. Allow me to explain.

Although I am not afraid to fly, I feel like I’m pushing my luck to climb onboard a large metal bird and ask it to get me safely to my destination. I think a lot of people feel this way, and those feelings can result in a lot of bad passenger behavior. Perhaps the guy yelling at the gate agent about the ten-minute delay is subconsciously stuck on the question, “Does this situation make me feel safe?”

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Medium 9780253022790

At Aunty’s House

James Whitcomb Riley Indiana University Press ePub

ONE time, when we’z at Aunty’s house—

’Way in the country!—where

They’s ist but woods—an’ pigs, an’ cows—

An’ all’s out-doors an’ air!—

An’ orchurd-swing; an’ churry-trees—

An’ churries in ’em!—Yes, an’ these-

Here red-head birds steals all they please,

An’ tetch ’em ef you dare!—

W’y, wunst, one time, when we wuz there,

We et out on the porch!

Wite where the cellar-door wuz shut

The table wuz; an’ I

Let Aunty set by me an’ cut

My vittuls up—an’ pie.

’Tuz awful funny!—I could see

The red-heads in the churry-tree;

An’ bee-hives, where you got to be

So keerful, goin’ by;—

An’ “Comp’ny” there an’ all!—an’ we—

We et out on the porch!

An’ I ist et p’surves an’ things

’At Ma don’t ’low me to—

An’ chickun-gizzurds—(don’t like wings

Like Parunts does! do you?)

An’ all the time, the wind blowed there,

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Medium 9780253223449

Chapter 4

Marianne Boruch Indiana University Press ePub

Chapter 4

So I had one day to get ready. You saw how I packed. But I told Frances: I know this guy.

And the guy was Woodrow Joseph Brookston, ex-boyfriend of my high school friend Alexandra—Crazy Alex for short—who was a student at the U of I too, her apartment three blocks from me. Back now, Woody had been in Champaign a couple of days, just released at last and for good, out of Vietnam. Not a soldier, I assured Frances. He was a CO, really. But they made him go anyway, as a medic for two years. From DeKalb I had called other friends near where I lived on Green Street. Woody was crashing on the couch at their place, sort of a refugee from the army and now, from Alex. He answered the phone so I told him about the trip.

A medic in ’Nam? Frances said with interest, even reverence. I could see the movie she started to run in her head: Woody hauling the wounded into trucks and helicopters, holding high the blood bottles; Woody with a big red cross on his arm, the soundtrack full of gunshot and moody cello with an occasional lightning hit of violin; Woody, some tall beefy thoughtful guy, the real hero over there, all the broken, bleeding, stoned-out soldiers grateful and weeping and getting him to write down their last words to mail home to their girlfriends, or maybe even deliver by hand, walking up the little steps to their houses, knocking fatefully on each door. And those guys would trust him absolutely not to put the moves on their girls, even after a properly pious interval of a week or two.

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Medium 9781626562615

Chapter 6. Action ≠ Results

Zack, Devora Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

I’m too busy to singletask.

I’m too busy not to singletask.

Never confuse action with activity.


“I am so busy.”

“Yeah? Well, I am soo busy.”

“You wish. I am sooo much busier than that.”

There’s a busyness epidemic spreading like crabgrass taking over a lawn. Yet the hustle and bustle of activity and the presumed reward are not linked. Keeping busy does not necessarily mean you are working effectively. Leslie Williams, president of LeaderShift Consulting, astutely observed, “Our culture is in a trance about how we define productivity. We seem to measure our effectiveness by how many tasks we’re doing at once.”1

Too many people fill their lives with action disproportionate to tangible results; relatively few activities are valuable enough to deserve the allocated time. As a result, we are distracted and discontented, living lives of increasing professional pressure.

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Medium 9781523082629

Chapter 9 Coaching Accountability When There’s No Drama: Match and Move

Regier, Nate Berrett-Koehler Publishers ePub

Sally’s friend Juanita doesn’t spend much time in drama. She avoids drama allies and adversaries, she keeps herself from joining others in drama, she follows the three rules of Compassionate Conflict, and she regularly makes Choices to Move. Juanita is a beacon of compassion.

Juanita is the VP of Marketing at Compassion Corp, a competitor of Drama Corp that has been rapidly gaining traction in their market. Juanita is responsible for a team of 26 people who have learned that she doesn’t play the game of drama. Neither does she tolerate it from her team.

Is life perfect in the marketing department at Compassion Corp? Of course not. Nobody is perfect. However, the rules of engagement are consistent with the Compassion Cycle. Juanita makes sure her team has the role-modeling, training, and support they need to follow these rules in their behavior with each other and their clients.

On any given day there’s not a lot of drama, but there’s plenty of positive conflict. Juanita believes that positive conflict is a necessary part of creativity, innovation, and engagement. In fact, Juanita initiates conflict on a regular basis with her people, all for one driving reason: to coach her employees towards personal accountability while advancing team goals.

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